Ah Beng [noun]
An unsophisticated and uneducated Chinese man who speaks broken english. Stereotypically, he mixes hokkien to his sentencces and likes neon-coloured clothes, spiky, moussed, and dyed hair and also accessories such as handphones or pagers, all of which are conspicuously displayed. He also likes to squat, even when a seat is available.
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so today hor..... skool was very ki siao wan. tis Ransley hiaw hiaw de. eveli time ah, his very tat 1 u kno. i reli hate it. 1st time i see him, oledi kno he very miang liao. he tink his so kool ply basketbol but his lao ya de. his hav to say f*** eveli day de. i veli sian ah. and eveli day u kno, hav to tach peepls punya batt wan. SO HIAW WAN!!!!! reli feel lik slap him. stupit like wat. mabe his memang liddat stupit stupit wan . he say 'sia mien, da da' so mani time today liao. CHAI KA DE!!!!! SOOOO SIANNN OF TISSS BOYY AHHHH!!!!!!
and then ah, tis kenaidy ah, tink he kool b;cum cowboi take he tie go wip peeple wit it. it like gila babi wan. wip peeple oso dun say sori wan. so no manner de. so ke si meh? look so sa wan. look lik retart. so bodoh de tis boy. JIAK SAI LA LU!!!! walao! i jus relise tat i hav hair on my hand. i din kno tat till now wor. wat else ah, oh yea hor, tis kenny act gay gay de 2day. ai si lo, his go tach boy wan body and leg. an thn ah, he go panch peeples wan batt. kick he sia mien then his kno. chien ta wan.
haih, so many werk 2day. i try finish werk but i kan feenish. eveli day hav 2 draw draw thing. i veli sian liao hav to drawing picture. got use meh?? stupit de. i stat now hating skul. it veli stupit and wase my time nia. i wan ply sms oso canot. cane go on9. haih so sian ah. eveli day hav to do work. and al tis teicher lao beh de. teech oso dunno how 2 teech. how i knowing wat is 2x2. say 4 bat canot show hw it b;cum 4. so goondu.
last wan, sum peeple call me ah beng. you peeple jangan main main wit me. i tell u peeple hor i not ah beng. . I NOT AH BENG!!!! I NOT AH BENG!!!! EVELI1 WHO CAL ME AH BENG AH, FORK U!!!!!! TEL U LIAO I NOT AH BENG LO STILL CAL ME AH BENG!!!!!!! KI SIAO!!!!!! I GET VELI GUD MARK U KNO!!!! I BET AL MY FREN IN TEST!!!!! AL THE TECHER CAL ME SPECEL!!!!! I NOT AH BENG!!!!!!!! I NOT AH BENGG!!!!!!!!! I NOTTT AHHHH BENGGG!!!!!!!!!
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note: I 'm not an Ah Beng in real life.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Wanted (ii)
Name : Kenaidy Adan a.k.a The Gay Retard
Age : 14
Known Crimes : Ruining the flow, acting 'ucak', having incestuous affairs with his many uncles, staring at girls' legs, violating Darren, acting like a retard, being gay with Ransley, molesting himself, touching Kenny, thinking he Is 'all that', snapping his fingers excessively , smelling Federick, seducing toilet bowls, playing with himself, preparing Christmas Dinner, getting turned on by fat people, pretending to be blind and many many many others.
Known Hideouts: His bathroom, waste paper baskets, Tupperware containers, laundry baskets, drawers, bird cages, aquariums, plastic bags, inside his undies, sidewalks, in the middle of the highway, refrigerators and many many many others.
Weak To: Chapati, pencil cases, Indian boys, toilet paper, Hii Shan Wei Ransley, 7 year old girls, fried chicken, naked people, babies, Gunz, Syafiq's chin, Cikgu Najibah, homosexuality, emo people and many many many others.
Danger Level : Very high
Wanted Dead And Alive
Reward For His Capture: 3 cookies.
Might smell you If he sees you. If spotted do not approach.
This has been a message from laubenyu.blogspot.com.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Heartbroken'd ( an attempt to write an emo blog entry)
For the record, I am not, I repeat, not emo. I'm seeing If I can write an emo blog entry. Why? Since a lot of people are writing this type of entries, I might as well try writing It too. Everything In the following post Is entirely fictional. So don't go " Eww......why Is he so emo" after reading It because I'm not emo and the post Is fictional.
Okay, so here goes.
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I cant believe you don't love me anymore. How could you dump me for that lowlife. I thought It was love at first sight. You were the only one who could make my heart beat faster and slower, since the first time I looked at you. And you said " we're over " . The pain that I felt was unbearable. It felt as If arrows were shooting through my heart. I was truly hurt. Our relationship was over. Day and night I thought about you. I'd never thought It would end up like this.
I still become nervous when ever I look at you. I tried to forget you, but a small part of me still wants you to be on my side. Why am I still on this earth, my life means nothing without you. Your smile cheered me up when I felt sad. Now, you'll never be there with me when I need her the most. I know nothing can be done to get you back. I wish someone would kill me to end my misery. I am not worthy of your love, and I'll never be. My heart will always be on you, whether you like It or not.
I can't stand to see you with someone else. I'll never forget the times we had together. I guess I have to start all over again. I wish we could hug and kiss In the rain like In the movies. That'll never happen. I feel a lot of pain and sorrow without you. I feel like slitting myself. I know that won't help but It reminds me of you. I hope you'll still talk to me when we have the chance. You'll always be In my heart, forever, gingerbread man. heartbroken'd
missingyousodamnmuch
HAHA! YOU EMO PEOPLE GOT PARODIED!
Okay, so here goes.
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I cant believe you don't love me anymore. How could you dump me for that lowlife. I thought It was love at first sight. You were the only one who could make my heart beat faster and slower, since the first time I looked at you. And you said " we're over " . The pain that I felt was unbearable. It felt as If arrows were shooting through my heart. I was truly hurt. Our relationship was over. Day and night I thought about you. I'd never thought It would end up like this.
I still become nervous when ever I look at you. I tried to forget you, but a small part of me still wants you to be on my side. Why am I still on this earth, my life means nothing without you. Your smile cheered me up when I felt sad. Now, you'll never be there with me when I need her the most. I know nothing can be done to get you back. I wish someone would kill me to end my misery. I am not worthy of your love, and I'll never be. My heart will always be on you, whether you like It or not.
I can't stand to see you with someone else. I'll never forget the times we had together. I guess I have to start all over again. I wish we could hug and kiss In the rain like In the movies. That'll never happen. I feel a lot of pain and sorrow without you. I feel like slitting myself. I know that won't help but It reminds me of you. I hope you'll still talk to me when we have the chance. You'll always be In my heart, forever, gingerbread man. heartbroken'd
missingyousodamnmuch
HAHA! YOU EMO PEOPLE GOT PARODIED!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Blogging
A few people have asked me, why my blog exists. People have said Its weird, lame, full of crap and most of all, gay. I'd like to tell you about my blog, and blogging styles that I have read. My blog wasn't planned to be. I just made It for fun, seeing that blogging Is all the buzz now. Also, I wanted to find something to kill time when I'm bored.
Blogs
Out of all the different types of I blogs that I have read, I seriously don't get emo blogs, I have nothing against them, Its just, personally for me, when I read their entries, I tend to feel like they're not appreciating life as they should. They seem to be always depressed and they feel like dying or they shouldn't exist, showing pictures of their slit wrists, overly long hair and showing how much they hate their lives. I mean Its not like they got AIDS or SARS or Bird Flu or something like that. I'd understand If they really have It but If not, theres really no point of doing so. Be thankful you're still alive, freakin emo people.
Next, the journal type of blog. Normally, the content would be about the blogger's daily activities and happenings. It sounds like a good concept, but personally, I wouldn't write It cause mainly my daily activities are using the computer and watching t.v. You wouldn't want to read those two things now would you. I wonder how those blogger's maintain their blog. Are they're lives really that exciting? Meh who knows.
Last type of blog, the blogs that's all about love. Point? Expressing their feelings, their Inner thoughts and acting like theres no tomorrow without love. For me, after I read those kind of blogs, I really don't care about anything that Is connected to their love life. These bloggers mainly use phrases like ' Ever since you left me, my world Is just a black empty hole' or ' Why am I still on this earth, there Is no point of living without you' or ' My heart shattered when you said, we're through. I'm still picking up the pieces of my broken heart, crying, wishing you could come back to my side' and the list goes on. Sometimes I really get sick of It.
My Blog
To clear things out, my blog Is just full of randomness. Imagine my blog without Its signature randomness, what would I be writing about? My feelings? My Inner most thoughts? My life story?I don't think so. Crappiness and randomness Is a key element to my blog. Without It, I am nothing. Also without It, my blog wouldn't be as entertaining.
Purpose of my blog? I'm giving opportunities to other people to Indulge the weirdness that Is my blog. I'd like to think of this blog as a place where people can go when they're bored and when they have nothing to do. I don't update this blog daily, but I will update It when I have time. So yeah, enjoy the blog whether your a fat guy, a whore or maybe even a hobo. It may not be as good as kennysia's or the many other blogger's, Its still cooler than pie. With that said, I'm out.
Blogs
Out of all the different types of I blogs that I have read, I seriously don't get emo blogs, I have nothing against them, Its just, personally for me, when I read their entries, I tend to feel like they're not appreciating life as they should. They seem to be always depressed and they feel like dying or they shouldn't exist, showing pictures of their slit wrists, overly long hair and showing how much they hate their lives. I mean Its not like they got AIDS or SARS or Bird Flu or something like that. I'd understand If they really have It but If not, theres really no point of doing so. Be thankful you're still alive, freakin emo people.
Next, the journal type of blog. Normally, the content would be about the blogger's daily activities and happenings. It sounds like a good concept, but personally, I wouldn't write It cause mainly my daily activities are using the computer and watching t.v. You wouldn't want to read those two things now would you. I wonder how those blogger's maintain their blog. Are they're lives really that exciting? Meh who knows.
Last type of blog, the blogs that's all about love. Point? Expressing their feelings, their Inner thoughts and acting like theres no tomorrow without love. For me, after I read those kind of blogs, I really don't care about anything that Is connected to their love life. These bloggers mainly use phrases like ' Ever since you left me, my world Is just a black empty hole' or ' Why am I still on this earth, there Is no point of living without you' or ' My heart shattered when you said, we're through. I'm still picking up the pieces of my broken heart, crying, wishing you could come back to my side' and the list goes on. Sometimes I really get sick of It.
My Blog
To clear things out, my blog Is just full of randomness. Imagine my blog without Its signature randomness, what would I be writing about? My feelings? My Inner most thoughts? My life story?I don't think so. Crappiness and randomness Is a key element to my blog. Without It, I am nothing. Also without It, my blog wouldn't be as entertaining.
Purpose of my blog? I'm giving opportunities to other people to Indulge the weirdness that Is my blog. I'd like to think of this blog as a place where people can go when they're bored and when they have nothing to do. I don't update this blog daily, but I will update It when I have time. So yeah, enjoy the blog whether your a fat guy, a whore or maybe even a hobo. It may not be as good as kennysia's or the many other blogger's, Its still cooler than pie. With that said, I'm out.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Dummies
For only RM 19.99, you can be the owner of this limited Ransley edition of Pronunciation For Dummies. This book covers every aspect of pronunciation ranging from tone, tongue position, lip moving and so much more. This book also boasts the inclusion of a CD-ROM, which Is a commentary about pronouncing, none other than Mr. Hii Shan Wei, Ransley, expert of pronunciation.
In this Book, you will get:
i. The do's and dont's of pronouncing words.
ii. An In depth analysis of Mr. Hii's vocabulary.
iii. Meanings for words that you just don't understand when a person with lousy English, speaks.
iv. Mr. Hii's synonyms and antonyms.
And so much more for just RM 19.99.
An Extracted Part From Pronunciation For Dummies.
guzit noun [read goo-zeet]
1. gurjit
2. tall, black guy
3. used In a sentence, ' Uh, guzit can I borrow 2 ringgit ? '
spoong noun [read ss-poo-ng](plural spoongs)
1. spoon, an utensil used for eating
2. used In a sentence, ' Wheres my spoong'
listten verb [read list-ten](listenning, listtened)
1. listen
2. hearing
3. used In a sentence, ' Listten to me, kennedy '
nufting noun [read nuff-thing]
1. nothing, nil, nada
2. used In a sentence, ' I dunniu nufting'
stuvit adjective [read stew-veet]
1. stupid, brainless, dumb
2. also known as shuvit [read shoe-veet]
3. used In a sentence, ' Apalah you, stuvit'
ass noun [read as]
1. ass, backside, rear end, buttock
2. a way of saying X-Men, ass men
3. a way of saying the Xbox 360, ass boss three sissy
4. used In a sentence, ' Is there a ass men game for ass boss three sissy? '
dugone noun [read dew-gone]
1. dungeon, a place In Maple Story
2. used In a sentence, ' Err, why I die In the dugone? '
terrorims noun [read terror-rims]
1. terrified rims
2. terrorism, involves terrorists
3. used In a sentence, ' How to read this? Is It terrorims? '
This Is just one part of the book, If you purchase this book you can see even more content just for RM 19,99. So what are you waiting for, don't miss you chance of a lifetime, get this book now while It lasts. Sold In major book stores around the country.
Don't delay, buy It now and you'll be pronouncing In no time!
Thursday, March 8, 2007
LML : March 2007
We have new candidates! I repeat! We have new candidates! After weeks of hard work, I finally scouted new candidates for the LML. I am happy to announce four new people will enter LML.
Candidates.
1.Marvin Fam.
2.Jeremy Chin.
3.Yuan Meng Yong.
4.Kenaidy's follower, Daniel.
These new candidates will be monitered from time to time to evaluate their development In their social skills to the girls. LML Is expanding quite rapidly. As of now we have 10. Yes, 10 competitors In the LML. If you have anyone In your class or In your school, or In your neighbourhood , please contact the following number.
016-8083290. Contact person may vary.
To celebrate the expansion of LML, each of our competitors will receive 10 points free, except for Darren........mainly because he's a whore. The new members also will receive the pints that they've earned during my scouting. Also happening this month, the 40 point barrier was broken by our leader, Nadzir as he earned 50 points for smooth talking and worked his charm over the girls.
Current Standings.
Rank 1- Mohd Nadzir 85 points
Rank 2- Daniel 40 points
Rank 3- Eric Ling 32 points
Rank 4- Jeremy Chin 28 points
Rank 5- Yuan Meng Yong 25 points
Rank 6- Basil Andy Lease 20 points
Rank 7- Marvin Fam 18 points
Rank 8- Cyrus Wong 15 points
Rank 9- Kenny Chong 13 points
Rank 10- Darren Diewo 0 points
As we can see, Nadzir Is still on top, with a record breaking 85 points. Daniel Is making a big Impact In the league, as he beat 2nd ranked, Eric, with 40 points. Darren Is still rock bottom, with absolutely nothing, as he failed to make any progress this month. The league Is still on, anything can happen during the course of the year. So be ready.
This has been a report of LML brought to you by laubenyu.blogspot.com
Candidates.
1.Marvin Fam.
2.Jeremy Chin.
3.Yuan Meng Yong.
4.Kenaidy's follower, Daniel.
These new candidates will be monitered from time to time to evaluate their development In their social skills to the girls. LML Is expanding quite rapidly. As of now we have 10. Yes, 10 competitors In the LML. If you have anyone In your class or In your school, or In your neighbourhood , please contact the following number.
016-8083290. Contact person may vary.
To celebrate the expansion of LML, each of our competitors will receive 10 points free, except for Darren........mainly because he's a whore. The new members also will receive the pints that they've earned during my scouting. Also happening this month, the 40 point barrier was broken by our leader, Nadzir as he earned 50 points for smooth talking and worked his charm over the girls.
Current Standings.
Rank 1- Mohd Nadzir 85 points
Rank 2- Daniel 40 points
Rank 3- Eric Ling 32 points
Rank 4- Jeremy Chin 28 points
Rank 5- Yuan Meng Yong 25 points
Rank 6- Basil Andy Lease 20 points
Rank 7- Marvin Fam 18 points
Rank 8- Cyrus Wong 15 points
Rank 9- Kenny Chong 13 points
Rank 10- Darren Diewo 0 points
As we can see, Nadzir Is still on top, with a record breaking 85 points. Daniel Is making a big Impact In the league, as he beat 2nd ranked, Eric, with 40 points. Darren Is still rock bottom, with absolutely nothing, as he failed to make any progress this month. The league Is still on, anything can happen during the course of the year. So be ready.
This has been a report of LML brought to you by laubenyu.blogspot.com
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Sports Day : Day 2
Yesterday was the second day of my school's Sports Day. I didn't really have the time to write yesterday so I'm writing It today. It rained, but other than that, the same stuff happened, sitting, talking, eating and insulting. I got to go to the MCC near Imperial Mall after the morning session of the events were done. Ransley played like an ass. So after playing, I headed back to Parkson to go back home when I realised It had rained. Without any thought I ran from Ma Baker to the eating place near Giant. I was freakin soaked. Luckily for me, my cap provided enough protection for my head from the heavy rain. I went back to change and stuff.
The afternoon was pretty much the same as the morning. Sitting, talking, eating and insulting. Kenaidy was exceptionally gay and retarded during the afternoon. I found out that Ransley played Counter Strike like a dumbass as he just stand In one spot without moving anywhere to shoot. I also discovered new LML potential, Mr Yuan and Daniel, Kenaidy's follower. How could I not see such potential In the beginning? The teachers got to run too. The Danson teacher, Mrs/Ms/Mdm Victoria tripped during the race. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR REPLACING ME IN THE 4x200 EVENT YOU FREAK OF A TEACHER, eventhough I'd probably lose but still , THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR REPLACING ME!
Then the award ceremony thing took place. Lim was third. Danson was second and Chong got first again. Oh yes, and Ransley was very sakai playing his friend's handphone. A tribute was made to Li Vui Chian, I think, who passed away on the morning of the February the 25th. His loss was never thought to happen.
R.I.P Li
The afternoon was pretty much the same as the morning. Sitting, talking, eating and insulting. Kenaidy was exceptionally gay and retarded during the afternoon. I found out that Ransley played Counter Strike like a dumbass as he just stand In one spot without moving anywhere to shoot. I also discovered new LML potential, Mr Yuan and Daniel, Kenaidy's follower. How could I not see such potential In the beginning? The teachers got to run too. The Danson teacher, Mrs/Ms/Mdm Victoria tripped during the race. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR REPLACING ME IN THE 4x200 EVENT YOU FREAK OF A TEACHER, eventhough I'd probably lose but still , THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR REPLACING ME!
Then the award ceremony thing took place. Lim was third. Danson was second and Chong got first again. Oh yes, and Ransley was very sakai playing his friend's handphone. A tribute was made to Li Vui Chian, I think, who passed away on the morning of the February the 25th. His loss was never thought to happen.
R.I.P Li
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