Jacob Black Is a fag

Twilight

Yes, I have, dare I say seen the movie Twilight. I mean I'm no 13 year old girl nor am I gay, but under Inevitable circumstances, I was put up with the movie. Now I have never ever, In the name of Bobby read or even touch the best selling novel of the same name by Stephenie Meyer. I am just a common man. From a common man's view, I shall review/summarise the movie that came out last month which was a while ago, but I watched It about a two weeks ago but my brain Is still fresh, fresh enough to remember the main story of the movie.

Bet you've seen this cover held tightly by a teenage girl just too often.

Now I don't really watch the ever popular sub genre of romantic-fantasy films, so I had no Idea what to expect from the film. I just knew It was about vampires and some guy named Edward who was apparently going to be a cult Icon among teenage adolescent girls. I have heard however, from the people who have read the novel, that the feature film was a giant flop, a giant disappointment for them. This made things even less exciting than me already with full anticipation walking Into the cinema to watch the movie.

I wonder If girl's get...excited when they see Edward.

Now the movie started with Bella Swan moving from her hometown somewhere In Phoenix I forgot where to Forks, Washington staying with her biological father. Her mom and step dad were back at Phoenix renovating their house I assume. So Bella's new In town, and like any other 17 year old Junior, she went the local High School. All was fine, dudes checked her out, some Asian guy tried to ask her out. You know the usual. But during lunch break, some people arrived. the Cullen's. Now apparently they're all related but four of the Cullen family were lovers? One bird was left out of the nest, and may I present you Edward Cullen. I'm lazy to Introduce everyone so here's the wiki.

Left to right: Emmet, Rosalie, Esme, Edward, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper.

Edward's a peculiar one, sitting with Bella during Biology class, having a lustful face as If he wanted to do Inappropriate things to her, but oh right, he's a vampire. So probably It was the scent of her blood that got him a boner. A few days after an abrupt absence, he came back, formally Introducing himself. So there was chemistry between the blood sucker and Bella. There was attraction. Edward seemed to like Bella but looked as If restricted. He kept telling her to stay away from him. Bella couldn't figure why.

Then one fine day as Bella was just chilling by her truck, some black dude accidentally over steered and was crashing Into her direction. Liek omg, liek what happened next? Edward swooped In from at least 50 yards away, stopping the car with his bare hands, leaving a ginormous dent In the car. I have to say, that was probably the only memorable scene apart from the apple kicking scene. Bella saw this herculean act. So she google'd what she saw, super speed, super strength and pale skin. It was a fact, Edward Cullen was a vampire. A 100+ year old vegan vampire feeding only on animal blood Instead of human blood.

Different date for the United Kingdom so don't ask why the dates are different.

So she confronted him, and he was like "What If I'm not the hero, what If I was the villain?" and "Are you scared?". Bella apparently didn't mind liking an Immortal being. They hung out and stuff, Edward saving her from getting gang raped, the usual. Then finally Edward brought Bella to his household. Not everyone In the Cullen family favored Bella. Quite frankly, Jasper looks better than Edward In the movie.

Everything was fine, Cullen was with Swan, time spent together was sufficient, but an Invitation to a friendly game of vampire baseball under a storm would ultimately lead Bella to be hunted down by a tracker vampire, James. How, well when the game was on, three rogue vampires appeared from the forest to the pitch. James got Bella's scent and was bloodthirsty for well her blood. Jasper and Alice brought Bella to safety but then Bella got a call. James took her mom for ransom. She had to turn herself In for her mother's safety. So she did, but what could could she do when Jame's bit her arm leaving a flesh wound? The Cullen's came to her rescue. Edward fought? James I guess. Then Carlisle burnt the jizz outta James In order to kill him.

Edward had to suck her blood In order to extract the venom. He almost couldn't stop himself from sucking, like and Infatuated 10 year old on porn. Bella didn't die. Like no wai right. She ended up In the hospital with Edward by her side. Soon after It was prom night, and you guessed It, Edward was Bella's prom date. The movie ended with Edward and Bella kissing under the moonlight during the prom.

Side notes, Twilight's vampires:

• Do not have fangs.
• Do not burn under the sunlight Instead making their skin shine like diamonds.
• Do not sleep In coffins.
• Have special abilities like telepathy (Edward), Precognition (Alice) and Mood Changing Powers (Jasper)

What I liked about the movie most:
Alice Cullen


Well I wouldn't say It was terrible nor was It that disappointing contrary to many fans of the series. Maybe It was because I've never read It but as a standalone movie, It was decent. There was good narrative. The color's were dark which suited the genre. The character's were Interesting with the mix of different beings. And the story wasn't all bad.

All In all, considering how popular the series Is, I don't think It would really matter If the movie was a success, but since there was a film adaptation of the first Installment of the series, I would like to see what will happen In the sequel, New Moon.

6.5/10