laubenyu.blogspot.com

Just because It's the Year Of The Cow/Ox...

2009-01-30T21:15:00.001+08:00

...does not give you the right to say "Happy 牛(niu) year", with 牛having the literal translation of cow. I mean seriously If someone tries to wish me a Happy 牛(niu) year, I will pop a plastic bottle cap up their ass. Okay maybe I won't but Its seriously just uncool to recycle the greeting. The first time, I'm fine with It. But about the fifth, It gets old. So lose the novelty greetings you lame ass people. Why can't you just say "Happy New Year" without the obvious pun of the cow/ox year.

But yeah It Is Chinese New Year. Today Is the fifth day, and I'm at home using the Internet, rather than visiting my peers. Some life I have. But the previous six days, I was In Sibu. The place is okay, just a little...small. It's practically like Miri just filled with 3/4 of Foochow people with great skilllz of making 干捞面 and 光饼. Sibu's drainage system seriously sucks, Its that bad. And that makes Sibu flood prone, In some areas at least. The town Is no exception. There were like ponds of water, and It was muddy. Quite a feast for the eyes.

Sibu, Indonesia.

My grandmother's place. Quite cosy.

Balls.

Come rain come shine.

I wasn't kidding about the flood.

Pokka.

The English Channel.

Queers.

dilf.

Leech.

I can only Imagine how this contraption Is used.

My Chinese New Year was pretty normal. I mean with the exception of New Year songs that get annoying, It was cool. I got money, I met my relatives and with every meal, I was filled with my grandma's cooking. She makes a hell of a dumpling and when her cooking Is Infused with red wine, damn, It tastes as good as a salty Ice cream cone. True that.

Just that this year I couldn't visit my friends, well actually I still can but then again I'm socially unsociable so I guess that won't happen and also there Is a slight possibility that my peers don't know I'm already back or maybe no one cares but In any case I'm pretty lazy to go out anyways. And also the mass visiting was on the fourth day so It would be kinda tedious for everyone to come to my house when they could've gone yesterday but I only came back yesterday so that's highly Improbable.

Anyways to all a prosperous and fruitful New Years. Even If you have Improportional face or are bald/balding or even maybe have ugly hair or even having cheap clothing, Happy Year of the Ox, 2009, from me.

新年块樂, 歲歲平安
Happy New Year
(even though It's already the fifth day)

Jacob Black Is a fag

2008-12-21T17:30:00.002+08:00

Twilight

Yes, I have, dare I say seen the movie Twilight. I mean I'm no 13 year old girl nor am I gay, but under Inevitable circumstances, I was put up with the movie. Now I have never ever, In the name of Bobby read or even touch the best selling novel of the same name by Stephenie Meyer. I am just a common man. From a common man's view, I shall review/summarise the movie that came out last month which was a while ago, but I watched It about a two weeks ago but my brain Is still fresh, fresh enough to remember the main story of the movie.

Bet you've seen this cover held tightly by a teenage girl just too often.

Now I don't really watch the ever popular sub genre of romantic-fantasy films, so I had no Idea what to expect from the film. I just knew It was about vampires and some guy named Edward who was apparently going to be a cult Icon among teenage adolescent girls. I have heard however, from the people who have read the novel, that the feature film was a giant flop, a giant disappointment for them. This made things even less exciting than me already with full anticipation walking Into the cinema to watch the movie.

I wonder If girl's get...excited when they see Edward.

Now the movie started with Bella Swan moving from her hometown somewhere In Phoenix I forgot where to Forks, Washington staying with her biological father. Her mom and step dad were back at Phoenix renovating their house I assume. So Bella's new In town, and like any other 17 year old Junior, she went the local High School. All was fine, dudes checked her out, some Asian guy tried to ask her out. You know the usual. But during lunch break, some people arrived. the Cullen's. Now apparently they're all related but four of the Cullen family were lovers? One bird was left out of the nest, and may I present you Edward Cullen. I'm lazy to Introduce everyone so here's the wiki.

Left to right: Emmet, Rosalie, Esme, Edward, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper.

Edward's a peculiar one, sitting with Bella during Biology class, having a lustful face as If he wanted to do Inappropriate things to her, but oh right, he's a vampire. So probably It was the scent of her blood that got him a boner. A few days after an abrupt absence, he came back, formally Introducing himself. So there was chemistry between the blood sucker and Bella. There was attraction. Edward seemed to like Bella but looked as If restricted. He kept telling her to stay away from him. Bella couldn't figure why.

Then one fine day as Bella was just chilling by her truck, some black dude accidentally over steered and was crashing Into her direction. Liek omg, liek what happened next? Edward swooped In from at least 50 yards away, stopping the car with his bare hands, leaving a ginormous dent In the car. I have to say, that was probably the only memorable scene apart from the apple kicking scene. Bella saw this herculean act. So she google'd what she saw, super speed, super strength and pale skin. It was a fact, Edward Cullen was a vampire. A 100+ year old vegan vampire feeding only on animal blood Instead of human blood.

Different date for the United Kingdom so don't ask why the dates are different.

So she confronted him, and he was like "What If I'm not the hero, what If I was the villain?" and "Are you scared?". Bella apparently didn't mind liking an Immortal being. They hung out and stuff, Edward saving her from getting gang raped, the usual. Then finally Edward brought Bella to his household. Not everyone In the Cullen family favored Bella. Quite frankly, Jasper looks better than Edward In the movie.

Everything was fine, Cullen was with Swan, time spent together was sufficient, but an Invitation to a friendly game of vampire baseball under a storm would ultimately lead Bella to be hunted down by a tracker vampire, James. How, well when the game was on, three rogue vampires appeared from the forest to the pitch. James got Bella's scent and was bloodthirsty for well her blood. Jasper and Alice brought Bella to safety but then Bella got a call. James took her mom for ransom. She had to turn herself In for her mother's safety. So she did, but what could could she do when Jame's bit her arm leaving a flesh wound? The Cullen's came to her rescue. Edward fought? James I guess. Then Carlisle burnt the jizz outta James In order to kill him.

Edward had to suck her blood In order to extract the venom. He almost couldn't stop himself from sucking, like and Infatuated 10 year old on porn. Bella didn't die. Like no wai right. She ended up In the hospital with Edward by her side. Soon after It was prom night, and you guessed It, Edward was Bella's prom date. The movie ended with Edward and Bella kissing under the moonlight during the prom.

Side notes, Twilight's vampires:

Do not have fangs.
Do not burn under the sunlight Instead making their skin shine like diamonds.
Do not sleep In coffins.
Have special abilities like telepathy (Edward), Precognition (Alice) and Mood Changing Powers (Jasper)

What I liked about the movie most:
Alice Cullen

Well I wouldn't say It was terrible nor was It that disappointing contrary to many fans of the series. Maybe It was because I've never read It but as a standalone movie, It was decent. There was good narrative. The color's were dark which suited the genre. The character's were Interesting with the mix of different beings. And the story wasn't all bad.

All In all, considering how popular the series Is, I don't think It would really matter If the movie was a success, but since there was a film adaptation of the first Installment of the series, I would like to see what will happen In the sequel, New Moon.

6.5/10

Leopold Houston

2008-12-20T12:15:00.003+08:00

Yes, I are backeth. Back from where I hear some people asking? Well the truth Is, I had to clean my room, I mean my sister's room where my personal computer Is at. Why Is my personal computer at at her room? Cause Darren Is expected to be bald In his early 30's. It took me a while, but finally I got the job done. Though It was a grueling task, It still had to be done.

...
....
.....
........
...........
...............

Not very long after...

Alas, I have successfully turn my sister's screw up of a room to even more of a screw up. These past close to six more like five and 3/4 months was long and hard. And I'm not even talking about Peterson.

Absolutely no pun Intended Peterson, Big Bird just happened to have the letter H for whatsoever reason.

But yeah, It's not like I really cleaned up her room, hell, It's still messy okay not really but that's only because my sister Is back from Melbourne and If her room were to be messed up, my organs are at stake. Really, she could beat the crap outta me. Not saying I'm sissy, just would you hit a girl If she kicked your ass? Or by your older sister? Well I won't so, that Is why my body Is still In shape and in tact.

I haven't posted for about as long as Peterson, and posting now, I feel exactly the same. I don't miss my readers, It could be of course I don't really have readership. Go touch a dog Syafiq. I dare you. And how often I update will be determined by how long Kenny Is when he reaches menopause.

I got to wear casual cothes yesterday to school and you didn't Syafiq Azizol.

2008-06-25T21:58:00.005+08:00

Casual clothing? On a school day? Ballistic? Boom? Every year, I get to do this cause my school has this tradition of not wearing uniform clothing during this day what Is called Mufti Day. I brought my camera along, and with my amazingly excellent wonderful photoshopping skills, you people will be able to experience the read deal, as If you were the ones being there, witnessing everything.

I wore a hoodie. And It was like being baked and then grilled Inside your own clothing. Any longer than the 5 hours of school, and I would have been covered by BO. BO Is not cool man. But fortunately, I didn't develop any sort of aroma as I didn't wear the hoodie for the whole time, but maybe 1/4 of It. Seriously hot and sweaty. But yeah, enough about me, let us look at the photos now shall we?

For the record, Nelson and Darren took 80% of the photos. Nelson was rather excited when he got his hands on the camera and secretly taking pictures of the many girls In the class. Okay not really, but they did take about 80% of It.

Please, do enjoy.

Self explanatory.

He got arrowe'd.

This guy's a wiener

Suai Ge.

Fredrips.

Voyeur... I mean Nelson should get photography lessons.

Kenaidy made me realize what was wrong here. Very wrong Indeed.

10/10 on my hotness meter. Wilson Phua babe.

Nicholas got angry.

Ain't no party like the party going on in my house.

Hot.

Now with that aside, It's time for my, Kenaidy's and Darren's portfolio...

Elegance.

Style.

Pizzazz.

That's whack babe.

A Composition

2008-06-21T18:10:00.002+08:00

Here is a story that I, Lau Ben Yu composed. No, I didn't die. I just have been playing The Sims 2 and stuff. Feel free to comment about the story. Whether you'll read It or not, well that's up to you. I'm just posting for the fun of It. So yeah, It's long so read at your own risk.

____________________________________________________________________

Amy

The church bells rang. Sorrow was what could be best described at the scene. Tears were dripping down the faces of many as they witnessed the funeral of Martin Brown. Amy Rockfield was one of the mourners, mourning for the loss of her childhood friend. They were as if blood relatives. Words could not describe the pain felt by Amy. She had hopes for Martin, but now It was crushed into bits and pieces. And yet she also felt relieved, seeing him laying down peacefully without a care In the world, heading to a "better place". Her family comforted her, telling her It's not the end of the world. Amy could only reply with a smile, hiding her real feelings about the deceased. The tune of Amazing Grace could still be heard, faintly from her heart, crying herself to sleep during the cold nights in Colorado.

Amy and Martin had a very tight relationship, nothing could break the bond between them. Amy knew Martin since they were preschoolers. They looked so perfect together. Her blue eyes complemented his lavishing blond hair. She, being a brunette attracted him, and they became friends ever since. Over the years, their relationship got boosted up. They would spend hours together, whether studying or just fooling around. Separation was not listed In their vocabulary. Through Elementary School, Jr. High and High School, they were side by side. Proms were not an Issue to them. They went with each other, seeing as nobody asked any of them to be their date. There was a certain spark between them, but unfortunately, the spark never developed. It was a disappointment, looking back their history together. In the end, they were just friends.

After High School graduation, Amy and Martin went their separate ways, for the first time In their lives. The tall, slender brunette was gonna leave her dashing, well built man for further studies. Amy was accepted to Harvard, majoring Business there. Martin, however had to enroll In a community college back In Denver. Everything was fine at first, but soon they were breaking apart. Amy was too busy with her life in Harvard to even call Martin. It wasn't her Intentions but her schedule made her life that way. Her part time jobs didn't ease her life, working at late night shifts every weekday as a waitress. Martin awaited Amy to come back. He would think of ways of asking her to go steady with him. He had to live with the fact that she was not be with an Average Joe like him. Besides, he doubted she'd accept his proposal.

Rumors were that Amy had found someone during her last year at Harvard. Martin was very anxious, dazed and pessimistic. He head to find out the truth. Amy returned to Denver after her studies In Harvard. She didn't come back with anyone though. It was just herself with two big pieces of luggage. It was summer then. She was eager to meet Martin, longing to see him face to face after such a long time. Martin jumped, as If he was victorious In some sort of war. He gladly picked Amy from the airport. There were tears rolling from eyes of the macho yet sensitive Martin Brown.

Amy certainly missed Martin's presence. They way his sparkling hazel eyes looked at her, the odd way he laughed. She missed all of his quirks. So did Martin. They agreed to have dinner together that night Amy arrived. It was to be at 'Le' Lyon", a gourmet French restaurant. So It was settled, by 8PM, they would meet at the Interior of the establishment. Amy came first, and went to the reserved table. Sipping her cup of red wine, she awaited Martin. She had worn a long, silk gown and curled her hair up, resembling somewhat of Marilyn Monroe. An hour passed, and hour and a half, two hours, and Amy started to worry. She rang up Martin but no one answered. Tension was building. She rushed through the glass door, even ripping a part of her gown. She drove to Martin's with her dad's Mercedes. Suddenly there was a gunshot. "Could It be...?" Amy thought. A shriek could be heard, a shriek that could shatter glass windows. Amy nearly collapsed. She saw Martin, facing down In a dark alley, surrounded by a pool of blood.

Amy tried to pull herself together but what she saw was just too traumatic. Martin was dead. Blood gushed from his head. The gunshot was Indeed to Martin Brown. She couldn't believe what she had seen. She shouted his name In grief. But the fact was that, nothing could could bring him to life. She found a small note, along with a black box near his blood stained clothes. It wrote,

"Amy, you have always been In the center of my heart. Will you go steady with me? I was a lost soul when you were away. I'll love you forever Amy.

-Martin"

In that box was a diamond ring, or what used to be one. The ring was gone. Bloodshed was what had happened. Martin never got to say his last goodbye. Amy broke down, she couldn't swallow the fact that he had died a tragic death. Amy held his hands for the last time, letting her tears fall on him, before letting him go Into eternal peace. Martin's funeral was held two days later.

Amy was devastated. Her world was falling apart. But she was strong, she had to be. The constant thought of Martin's short life motivated her to live her own life to the fullest. Martin's death had brought a lot of meaning to Amy. She would read that note again, thinking what would happen If she was to be with Martin.

Tear drops.

Can I get a hallelujah?

2008-05-24T11:56:00.000+08:00

I am back... from my... house. I have finally completed my exams and am ready to take a sabbatical for about two weeks. Alas, I have time for my Assassin's Creed, Call Of Duty 4 and such. I am terribly sorry for not posting anything for the past month, I mean It's not like a lot of people read this blog anyways, but I really didn't feel like typing and posting and reading and thinking and editing and finding and stuff. I always thought this blog could be like the next big thing, but those hopes and dreams are down the drain, like yesterdays chicken. But that doesn't really bother me cause well I care what people think of me In real life and not online.

And besides, I can always try to be big on Youtube or something, so all hope Is not lost. Speaking of Youtube, Fred Is teh awesomeness. Who Is this? Fred. Quality entertainment I have to say. Watch his videos. You will be transformed Into a retard. Okay maybe not, but close. And I'm not gonna embed his videos cause wieners are big and the world Is screwed up by porno.

Other than that, Manchester United are th champions of Europe again. Thats coor babey. Sure, they may have won through penalties, but they still won, so yeah, awesome. What's next? Well nothing. I'm just here to "update" whatever that means.

NOW IT"S TIME FOR A PICTURE OF A GIANT NOSE!

AND EAR!

AND TONGUE!

And I'm pretty much done.

Wanted (iii)

2008-04-25T18:00:00.000+08:00

Name : Wilson Phua a.k.a Whimsical Willie

Age : 15 or younger.

Known Crimes : Watching gay porn, erecting to adolescent boys, singing, blogging, acting cool, speaking bad Mandarin, squatting on chairs, acting horny with teachers, being a boy, Insulting fat people, playing sports, styling his hair, being a Comitea wannabe, thinking he's a MILF, liking girls, swearing Incompletely, touching himself, moaning while touching himself, moaning behind his younger sister and many many many others.

Known Hideouts: Under chairs, window panes, closets, litter boxes, grass, Roshan, plastic containers, aluminium cans, cement, the Internet, wooden houses, piles of leaves, chicken coops, zinc rooftops, paddy fields, bushes, Inside his pants, behind pillars, under saw dust and many many many others

Weak To: Girls, boys, gay porn, porn in general, transsexual people, crabs, Ah Bengs, rubber, glue, Mdm. Tan Mee Lan, Nelson, paper cuts, exercise, fashion sense, Algebra, pigeons, Ting Yeng Ping, your mom, midgets, 30 year old men and many many many others.

Danger Level : Lower than the ground

Wanted Dead And Not Alive

Reward For His Capture: No cookies.

Might moan If he sees you. If spotted do not approach.

This has been a message from laubenyu.blogspot.com.

What's In the Box? #1

2008-04-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

There Is one box In my sister's/computer room. What exactly Is In this box? Stuff that I have no Interest In, but I'm sure there are some people who are. The contents Inside the box Isn't anything peculiar as It Is an everyday Item that can be found anywhere, literally.

This Is the said box. I might regret showing you this, but I'll do It anyways. I cannot believe there are such things, dwelling In the crevices of my home. Behold, the stuffings In the the box. Box #1.

......
.......
.........
...........
.............

A collection of Jay Chou CD's!

Maybe some of you are like "liek OMG! liek you listen to liek Jay Chou?". But of course, It's not my collection. It's my sister's. I rarely listen to this rather unsexy singer. I mean, I can barely hear what he's saying In his songs. It could be my amazingly excellently lousy Mandarin, but yeah, his pronunciation Is quite hard to Interpret, well some songs at least. Not all. Maybe 3/4. But you know, who am I to judge?

If only I could sell this off. Assuming each CD is about 40 bucks. These merchandise would easily give me like 400 butts. Easily.

Some of the above are albums, Karaoke VCD's, Soundtracks and stuff. I have absolutely no Idea why are there Karaoke VCD's. My sister sings? Beats me. But yeah, my sister Is a Jay Chou fan person guy.

Well, that's all for Box #1. There are more boxes to come. Or maybe not. I will see the circumstances, but anyways, If you're Interested In any of the stuff, please e-mail me.

Please do. I need money for my hypothetical PS3.

Fake Boobs

2008-04-06T22:12:00.003+08:00

I recently did my English Oral. My group consisting of Kenaidy and Nelson, did a Game Show called Who Wants To Win 5 Dollars. Basically I was the host and two contestants, Kenaidy and Nelson, had to answer five questions correctly to win, well the 5 Dollars. By posting this video, I'm practically committing e-suicide cause everyone will know how I look like but whatever. And yes, I sound a lot less gay, and look a lot better In real life. True that. Anyways, call It gay, sucky or something, this Is my group's English Oral Presentation, "Who Wants To Win 5 Dollars" . Enjoy. Believe me I don't sound that gay. Really.

And yeah, you may see this video from Nelson's blog or something, but I uploaded It, so I guess I have my right to post It also. Moreover, I'll provide an In-depth script that shows how much the whole act was altered. So yeah, we Improvised, a lot.

Original Context.

*Background music*
Me:Welcome to Who Wants To Win 5 dollars. I’m Lau Ben Yu and I’ll be your host for
today. Now, let us meet our two contestants.
K :ello ello, I am Sir Wingding of Yorkshire. Pleased to meet you all, tallyho…
N :Good Morning, My name’s Nelson and I will win the 5 dollars. You will feel my
wrath Wingding. Fear me.
K :Me fear you? Oh please. A peanut is even scarier than you.
Me:Alrighty then, the rules are simple. First, each contestant is allowed 5 secs to
answer each question.Second, you must follow first rule. Ok now..the grand prize
is 5 dollars. Each correct answer brings one of you closer to that dream house
you’ve always wanted.
K :Well, how do I know that this isn’t just another scam ….like Deal Or No Deal?
N :Yeah, Deal or No Deal sucks. Wheel Of Fortune is better.
Me:Here’s the five dollars. I’m gonna keep it in my pockets for safekeeping. Any
other questions?
N :Can I ask something?
Me:Go ahead.
N :How many questions can we ask?
Me:25
N :*about to ask*
Me:OK! On to the show…*background music *
K :Hold on.. I need to ask something.
Me:Cannot..
K :You scumbag.
N :Shut up. I really hate British people I tell you. Go drink some English tea or
something.
K :*oh no you di’nt*
Me:Now, now. Enough with the hostility. Let us begin, shall we?
*background music* Your 1st question is … what would happen to a fish if it fell into a
river?? 5 secs on the clock.
N :Hmm.. wouldn’t the fish swim?
Me: WRONG!
K :Well obviously the fish would be wet, am I right?
Me:That is also incorrect.
N :THEN TELL ME THE ANSWER!
Me:No need to shout, the answer is.. the fish would drown..
K :I knew that… I’m just warming up.
N :You’re really weird Sir Wingding…not to mention stupid.
Me:Yes he is… and so are you. On to the 2nd question. Ready? This is a tough one.
What colour is the White House? 5 secs…
N :Let me think… If It’s called the White House, wouldn’t it be white?
Me:That is wrong
N :WHAT THE HECK?
K :I believe It Is BLUE!
Me:It is actually a lightest shade of black.
N :I demand a recount!
K :STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!! You know it’s almost impossible to answer those
kinda questions with only 5 seconds…. I need 1 more second!
N :1 more? No no no I want two.
Me:Why not? 2 more seconds it is..
K :Cheers *touches Nelson’s shoulders*
N :Stop touching me…. I’ll kill you.
Me:Now then, the 3rd question. For this, you will have to complete this sentence.
Mary had a little _________ ?
K :I don’t know? Kim Chin?
N :BROTHER
Me:You two are idiots. Of course Mary had a little lamb. Moving on, your 4th
question, again complete the sentence “He likes to eat, Fish and________” ? 7
secs…
K :Indians *at the same time*
N :Indians*at the same time*
Me:So very close, Fish and Chips. Since none of you got a single question correct,
this next one will determine who wins the 5 dollars.
K :So whoever answers this question correctly wins the money?
Me:But of course.
N :Stop wasting time you racist. I need the money. I got a whole family to raise.
K :I don’t think that’s possible, CAUSE IM GONNA WIN IT!
N :OH YEAH?!?
K :YEAH?!?
N :OH YEAH?!?!?
K :YEAH?!?!
N :OH YEAH!?!?
Me:*slaps face* Please, I doubt any of you can win It. But anyways, your 5th and
final question Is… why did the chicken cross the road? 7 secs
K :Well, was it because It was Indian?
N :I know. It was because It wanted to get to the other side.
Me:Ohhh… close, but not close enough. It was because it was gay. Terribly sorry but
none of you get the 5 dollars.
K :Fiddlesticks! I should have known chickens were homo.
N : You scammer!
Me:Well that’s all for this show. Tune in next time when we play, Who Wants To Win 5
Dollars!
N :*provokes Sir Wingding and fights*
K :*fights Nelson*

As you can see we didn't really follow the actual script.

CHEERS!

The Truth: Elmo

2008-03-23T12:48:00.005+08:00

Elmo from Sesame Street. Who wouldn't recognize this famous character. Some say he's cute, adorable, loving and so on. Elmo earned a reputation by being one of the main characters of the show. Red, furry and small, he was Ideal for a kids show. Elmo has many traits that young kids can look up to him for. That's why rarely can you see a little kid not knowing who's Elmo. Heck, even adults know him.

I really don't know who's the blue guy.

But this doesn't mean Elmo here's perfect. For Instances, McElmo here refers himself to the third person. Who actually does that? You don't refer yourself with your own name now do you? And his laugh, his devious laugh. Despicable. Maybe some of you are thinking? What's your damn point? Well I will be unveiling the truth about Elmo. The dark truth that will make your pants drop twice, or even more.

Brace yourselves, or maybe not.

..
....
.......
............
................
.....................

Elmo is actually... THE EMO KING!

Elmo's name Is just an encrypted message that hides the fact that's he Is Emo. Elmo - l = Emo. Coincidence? I think not. Why do you think he's so furry, red and has an orange nose. He's the epitome of emotional disorder. Not convinced? The pictures below are solid proof of King Elmo's real self.

As you can see, the Elmo on the left Is the fake, happy and smiling Elmo. On the right Is the actual Elmo who slits his wrists, wears Gothic clothing and has hair covering one side of his face.
Holding a knife on his left hand, King Elmo relieves his pain by making himself bleed. How typical of him to do so. And Elmo's so emo, he doesn't even wear pants. Being King Elmo, he roams Into the restrooms of buildings, searching and scouting for new accomplices, who maybe In the loo.

Further proof can be found In this video. Tickle Me Elmo Is a popular toy. Tickle Me Emo Is the next best thing.

And yes, he Is wearing pants. I guess he likes to go commando at times. It's not my fault I can't predict whether Elmo wears pants or not. That's like predicting the weather. I certainly can't predict the weather, moreover Elmo's pants.

So don't be fooled by this deceiving character. Especially when or If you are watching Sesame Street, be sure to look out for his crown and his hypothetical pants that he Is not wearing. The world Is a dark place. It's even darker with the presence of King Elmo, the Emo King.

Before I end the post, I have to say,

Cookie Monster > Elmo. Cause Cookie Monster Is teh bomb... and likes cookies... and Is a monster. So screw you Elmo fans. Cookie Monster Is so much cooler.

And yeah, before I forget anything, Happy Easter!

Ichi Rittoru no Namida

2008-03-16T16:35:00.001+08:00

Ichi Rittoru no Namida or 1 Litre of Tears in English. I watched the series about a week ago. And It's still so very fresh In my mind. But exactly what kind of show is this? With the title 1 Litre of Tears, It's very clear that It's a sad one. And It Is. It aired In Japan In 2005. Three years and I only knew about this show like a month ago. Why all the fuss? Because this show Is worth your time and money and more of your time ... and ... money. But seriously, the show Is worth the watch. Take It from me, I'm no less of a drama fan than a fat guy but this drama In particular made me watch till the end.

Basically the story's about this 15 year old girl, Aya Ikeuchi, who somehow developed an Incurable disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration/Ataxia. Imagine, a 15 year old, diagnosed with such a disease. The disease progresses slowly, first having difficulties to walk and talk. Then up to a stage where the body can't move that freely and walking and talking Is virtually Impossible. Despite that, Aya didn't give up her life, Instead enjoying every single minute of her life to the fullest, writing a diary of her with the disease till the age of 25, when she passed.

As you can see, the girl In the wheelchair Is Aya. Surrounding her (clockwise) is Rika, Hiro, Ako, Haruto, and her parents, Shioka and Mizuo. Haruto happened to be the love Interest of Aya. The dude can really cry and act.

It didn't help that the drama was based on a real life story of Aya Kitou. It made It even more heartbreaking. The cast selection was top notch. Having a Erika Sawajiri as the role of Aya was like Icing on the cake. Her role made the show even more tear dropping. I mean, you wouldn't want to see a pretty girl suffering now would you? There are 11 episodes all together. Episode 1 till 10 was fine, nothing too sad, but during the last episode, 11, I honestly say It made me jerked tears. No kidding. It was damn sad.

The diary.

The music choice was perfect, It fitted the scenes so well, I could almost cry just listening to the songs. Okay not really, but It was really good. Very good Indeed. It suits the series excellently, Only Human by K, Konayuki and Sangatsu Kokonoka by Remioromen. Inspiring would be best said about the songs. They never fail to remind me about Aya and her struggle to live and blend In Into society, especially during the scenes In which Konayuki is played in piano. Those scenes will trigger your tear duct to release your tears. True that.

1 Litre of Tears Is a heartwarming and touching drama. The show may even change your view on life. It's just so beautiful. I don't know how else to describe It. It really shows the Importance of human life and how lucky we are just to live. Long story short, just watch It. Download It or watch It from some website or whatever. But watch It.

Vamlumtimes

2008-02-14T17:48:00.001+08:00

Alright, today's Thursday. And It's Vamlumtimes Day. This year, nothing's changed from last year. Gifts and stuff are given to even the slightest of good looking females. I mean, would It kill you girls to give boxes of chocolates, flowers and stuff to us guys? What a sexist occasion this Is. I'll not elaborate about today cause If I do, that will lower Kenaidy's self esteem. But anyways, this year I have discovered the real reason why do I not receive my buckets of presents, and for this I shall explain It In this simple theory I have thought of.

My theories are world class. Especially In physics. True that.

The ladies don't have the guts to express their love In me. I don't blame them. I'd be too overwhelming to them anyways. But yeah, do have a joyous Vamlumtimes, cause Vamlumtimes is serious times and don't feel sad If you're not loved, at least you have your mom... and dad... and Insurance.

That girl got drove over. Tire marks.

HAPPY VAMLUMTIMES/TINES!

and stuff

Diary of a Gangsta #2

2008-02-04T14:26:00.001+08:00

2.4.2008

10.00 PM

Wat tha wiggaz? The New York Giants beat tha New England Patriots In Supa Bizzowl XLII. Seriously yo, what tha wiggaz? I made a poser that If tha Patriots lost, me n mah gang would have ta go out witout our boxaz, which will show our biatches If you know wat I'm hatin' n shit. We're not rapping small, but big and cant no hood with death row. Our bona would totally be seen. Dem ain't trippin. So we went ta tha store ta buy some more bread. And guess what? Instead of dem white kids we met some azn kids . Death row 187 4 life. And they cracked a joke bout mah bonah, rhymin' baller I had a Wii. I said yes n they laughed. Those crackheezees thought It was funny ta add a Wii n a ner which Is Playa. Dem azn kids think its funny ta say wiena? Suck retards biatches and cant no hood with death row. It ain't funny ta say hustla in tha dogg pound. If dem azn's said penors I would understand. But nay, dem crackerz get jizzy and horny over Pokeman especially Pikachu, them yellow biatches like a motha sucka. Them azn kids would like see'n Pokeman pr0n. Sick bastards . Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. Pokemon ain't hatin' , betta check yo self. Digimon Is, you dig crackheezees? Dem azn kids tizzy left. Me n mah gang went motherf'n shizzle. Slap your mutha f'n self. It was dark so we couldn't see that clearly wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. We managed ta catch up ta dem azn people ta help you tap dat ass. It was then I realised that I was actually naked on mah bed wit a bona, jus' chill'in. Them azn kids be nigg menz. Even though dem azn is azn. Fho Shizzle.

Made ya look biscuitheads.

Call Of Duty 4

2008-01-18T20:13:00.001+08:00

Developer: Infinity Ward
Publisher: Activision
Release Date: 6 November 2007
Series: Call Of Duty

I don't really play First Person Shooter games, but when a FPS game that meets the requirements of my PC Is released and the game has gotten very positive reviews, I will buy that game. In this case, Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Though It came out about two months ago, theres no question about the quality of this masterpiece of a game. Sure "It's just a game man, get a life and go out or something" , and that's when all you skeptics are so very wrong.

I have mentioned COD 4 to a few people, and they said what? "Wtf is COD 4?" I mean, Is It so hard to get some recognition over a well made videogame? Only true videogame players will know what Is COD4 and how awesome It really Is. Seriously the game Is like an epic win for Infinity Ward. All the major review sites gave this game at least a 9.0/10, 90%/100% and a 5/5. I've never really played the Call Of Duty franchise cause I never really had the PC that Is required, but now I do. The previous COD's were In World War II but In COD 4, as you might have guessed from the title, It's set In modern times. The present.

I've played the Singleplayer Campaign finished and I have to say, the story/plot Is better than most RPG's (Role Playing Game) which are games with strong storylines. You play as two people, Sergeant Soap Mactavish and Sergeant Paul Jackson. Soap's from the British SAS (Special Air Service) while Jackson's from the USMC (United States Marine Corps). You also get to play a gunship pilot but the main characters are Soap and Jackson. There's this Middle Eastern dude named Al-Asad and this Russian guy named Imran Zakhaev. These two baddies are the main villains In the game. More like 40% Al-Asad and 60% Zakhaev. You'll know why when you play the game.

Altogether there's three arcs. And each arc has like 4-5 missions. But you'll start at the Prologue where Soap Is first Introduced and stuff. Each mission Is absolutely smesifying. Intense action, Intuitive controls, real life physics and most Importantly, the arsenal. You've got your AK 47's, Modified AK 47's, RPD's, M21's, M4A1's, G3's, Dragunov's, C4's, Flash bangs, Grenade Launchers and so much more. You'll find even more weapons In Multiplayer. So what do you get from COD 4?

Excellent gameplay+ Beautiful Graphics+ Intuitive Controls+ Intense Action+ Wide selection of artillery= Teh Awesomeness.

How awesome? So awesome that you'll cream your pants every time you play the game. And you would have to change your pants every hour for your pants are so creamed they melt thus leaving your bottom half nude.

Anyways, to express this pants creaming experience, I'll show screenshots, and lots of them.

Ohp ohp ohp 22 SAS Regiment.

Ohp ohp ohp Ship leaking.

Ohp ohp ohp shadows.

Ohp ohp ohp Mushroom Cloud.

Ohp ohp ohp Wanker...

Ohp ohp ohp Trample'd.

Ohp ohp ohp Trashhead

Ohp ohp ohp arm fly off.

Ohp ohp ohp headshot.

Ohp ohp ohp Nuclear Warhead.

Ohp ohp ohp Liar liar leg on fire.

Ohp ohp ohp liar liar leg get tire'd

Ohp ohp ohp C4

Ohp ohp ohp Explosion.

Band Names

2008-01-14T14:48:00.000+08:00

There are a lot of strange band names that have already weird'd me out. I mean, It's not like Its that hard to name a band/music group or something right? Totally wrong man. It's a wonder how some band names exist. You just need like a word to three words to create one. Simplicity Is the key. Bands with more than three words In their name have the risk of sounding bad or good. So It's probably better to stick with simple words. So let us start with weird/bad band names now shall we?. The band's music Is not necessarily weird/bad, but the name sure Is. Trust me on this.

Okay here goes.

Weird/ Bad Band Names.

1. Butthole Surfers (Bad)

Seriously? That's the best they could think of?

Band Member 1 : Hmm... what should we name our band?
Band Member 2 : I don't know.
Band Member 1 : Hey, why not we name our band the Surfers? Eh?
Band Member 2 : Nah, sounds too cheap. Why not... the Butthole Surfers? Since we love
surfing and enjoy looking at butts with their holes, I mean why not?
Band Member 1 : Genius, pure genius.

I'm sure that's how they got the name.

2. Test Icicles (Bad+Weird)

Test + Icicles = Testicicles. Testicicles sound like testicles.

Imagine someone saying testicles Instead of "Test Icicles"

"Hey Joe, wanna go to the Testicles, In concert? I've got two tickets"
"Testicles? Porno? I'M SO IN"
"Uh, no the band, Testicles"
"Your balls play music?"
"Ah never mind"

Smart.

3. Meat Loaf (Weird)

Alright Meat Loaf Isn't really a band but a guy. But a musician nonetheless.

Real Name: Marvin Lee Aday
Date of Birth: September 27, 1947
Occupation: Singer, lead singer of The Neverland Express
Favourite Food: Presumably meatloaf.

It'll be Ironic If he hates meatloaf or something.

4. Mando Diao (Really Weird)

Strangely, this rock band Is from Sweden. The name sounds like It was done by some 12 year old Malaysian kid. It sounds like mandul diao. Sure mandul diao doesn't sound that weird unless you're a Malaysian like me. People here speak as If their language was jumbled pieces of crap which Is using the three main languages here, Malay + Chinese + English. So therefore...

Mandul (Malay) - Infertile
Diao (Chinese slang) - Semexual Intercouse

Infertile Smex. How sweet would that be?

That's what you get for being Swedish.

5. Def Leppard (Weird+Bad)

Deaf Leopard. Nuff Said.

Why would you name your band Deaf Leopard and spell It as Def Leppard? Doesn't make sense. If you want It to be Deaf Leopard, then name It Deaf Leopard, not Def Leppard. Really people back then had bad taste In band naming. Freaks from the 80's with their mullets and guitar breaking and such. But yeah, though their name reeks of failure, their music Is pretty good.

But yeah It's better than the Butthole Surfers so they're not the worst In band naming.

Butthole Surfers, seriously why?

3rd January 2008

2008-01-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday,

School started for me and may I say that It Is certainly unflattering. You ask why? Well I had to sit with Wilson ' gay whore' Phua on my very first day. Oh but why did you seat with him If you don't like him? Three words. No.more.seats. I came at like 6.30 AM and there were only four vacant seats. Screw those people who came at like 5 something to sit at the middle. Yeah screw you people with a screw not just any screw, but a rusty one. That's right. Then you're jaws will get locked because you have lock jaw.

Well If you don't know who Wilson Is, I will gladly describe him for you. Picture a boy. A boy who Is of moderate height, who's hair Is better shaved off because of his terrible always gel'd hair and looks just gagging because It looks wet all the time and wet hair really Isn't nice unless you have rabies or something. Wilson has a distinct personality as he complains about girls not socialising with him even when they approach to him. Why? Apparently he's afraid of making any contact with the female gender. And he complains that the girls hate him and stuff when he himself Is a pen0r brain. Also, he also likes to act like he's all that and pose when no one Is looking at him. So basically Wilson Is an arsehole. Nuff said.

Moving on, when I first came to my class, I noticed one thing. I noticed that the majority of the girls who had their hair changed, well they all didn't work. Most of them at least. Here's an Illustration depicting the monstrosity. Not every girl had the same hair but a few did so yeah.

Seriously, It just doesn't work. Girls, If anyone of you have the same hair as depicted In the picture and happen to read this entry, change your hair. It's for the better. But this only Implies to lower standard looking girls which Is exactly what my class Is made from. Not all, just a handful. Maybe a bunch, okay a lot of them. I'm not sexist or anything, most unfortunately It's factual. I can't be blamed for anything. It's just how It Is.

But yeah, besides the fact that Wilson Is sitting beside me and the failed whacked out hair dos', my first day went well. I met up with my comrades, shared weenerific experiences, embraced some stupidity and some other stuff. I just hope someone moves Into my class and kicks Wilson outta his seat and peace shall be restored.

(Oh and the people who stole my seat early In the morning, yeah you girls have no weeners, not to mention nice hair. Lastly for those people who despise me for Insulting other peoples' hair, well sue me If you're able to or maybe call the fashion police or something. So yeah, try.)

Jinglebells

2007-12-25T21:30:00.000+08:00

Christmas's here and as a fellow Christian, I will be celebrating the occasion. That means going to church and stuff. I never really had a very special Christmas. It feels just like any other day. You know why? Cause every Christmas Eve I have to go to church and eat my Christmas Dinner, no turkey, no potatoes and most of all no pie. Which really doesn't bring out the full joy of Christmas. During Christmas Day, I go to church service In the morning. And them come back home to do whatever I'm doing regularly. Maybe opening a present or so but after that I'll be doing my regular stuff. It's not that bad actually, but I would like to celebrate Christmas like they do on tv you know. So to do this, I will celebrate my e-Christmas with this post!

How will I do It? BY POSTING MY EXCELLENT CHRISTMAS BANNER DONE BY MYSELF OF COURSE!

BRING ON THE CHRISTMAS CHEER!

But yeah, have a very Merrying Christmas and a decent New Year. Oh, and feel free to compliment me on my amazingly amazing Christmas banner. . Till then, Happy Holidays and have a good time during Boxing Day which Is tomorrow, December the 26th.

Diary of a Gangsta #1

2007-12-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

12.4.2007

9.30 AM

Today, me n mah gang wizzet up ta tha hood ta git some bread, when we saw some dem white kids buy'n bread. Dem kids were gang bangin' me off. They were In front of us at tha counta. We had ta wait fo` dem white kids ta pay up. One minute passed dem bitch ass nigg@z. I was dippin' Impatient ya dig?. The bread was gettin' stale. I was gett'n hungry fo' sho. Mah crew had ta go ta tha toilet so I was alone with dem SNOOPz. An old lady bumpe'd Inta me n said sorry. I neva felt so Insulted In mah entire life. A minute n a halfz passed in all flavas. I was at boil'n point. Those white kids were still pay'n fo` dem white breadz in tha hood. I gots wholemeal. The shot calla took too long. So, I grabbed tizzle white kids' white bread n ran out of them doors spittin' that real shizit. I called out mah gangstas n left. mah crew ran as hard as our legs shizzled . Listen to how a motherf'er flow shizit. Then we realized we ran at tha opposite direction n we gizzled at tha same store. Dem white kids left so we payed fo`our loaf. I couldn't believe tat tha wholemeal was so expensive fo gettin yo pimp on. I was outraged, ya'll biscuitheads. I tore out tha packag'n n ate tha bread In front of tha playa. Then I spat It out. Finally I ran out again, now to anotha bakery opposite tha shop but dem real nigg@z don't give an f. Who knows what bread them bakaz have there?em white kids don't know whizzay they're up against.

Made ya look, biscuitheads.

Discovery!

2007-11-21T17:41:00.000+08:00

I post In the IGN boards you see. While I was posting on one of them, " teh Vestibule ", which Is like Kopitiam If you post In Lowyat, I stumbled upon one particular thread/topic. Well the title seemed Interesting enough so I clicked on It. Man, did I laugh. The guy posted twisted yet funny pictures like they would be In a comic strip and stuff. You gotta know the terms and get the humor In the pictures to be ale to laugh at It. So yeah, let me present you, coloringbookland. Don't get me wrong though, It's just my nature to laugh at such things. Sure, It may be kinda sick and twisted but It certainly wont traumatise some of you In any way.

So here goes, these pictures are extremely wrong, sick and twisted, and unfortunately, I laughed so click at your own risk.

I bet he's one of Santa's disciples.

That would be a shock. It would certainly be awkward seeing her/him In the nude.

Jerry Is such a pervert. Just a cheap way to show off his weener.

Never give a kid a baseball bat, and avoid teaching him about bad religion.

How Insensitive. I bet he's black.

So Insulting, yet so true.

I understood the joke here but I can't help but to feel Insulted. Go figure.

Theres like way more in their archives. I don't feel like posting others cause well, the language used In the pictures are quite vulgar and It would certainly shatter my blog's clean Image.

Remember, spam Is delicious.

Today...

2007-11-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

... Is November the 5th. What occasion It might be? Guy Fawkes Night of course. You know, In V For Vendetta, If you've watched It, you may remember this line... "Remember remember the 5th of November" and stuff which was actually a rhyme which V recited In the movie. Today they make bonfires and play with fireworks to remember Guy Fawkes.

I bet he enjoyed looking at weeners.

BOOBS! (not really)

It's not my fault most Asian females aren't well endowed. Nothing personal though. Just speaking the truth here.

inb4flameage

2007-10-27T16:12:00.000+08:00

Pedophile (Noun) - A person who Is smexually attracted to youths, especially when you're a
fat guy with a long beard.

Santa Claus, jolly old man? or silent child predator? a friendly elderly? or a friendly elderly in the wrong ways? These are the questions that run through my brain whenever I think about Old Santy. At first you know, I didn't really care, but I couldn't help but to think about the pedophilia that Santa has committed. Why I call him a pedo you ask?

You may know Santa Claus for being this fat old guy who happens to share the spirit of Christmas by giving gifts to those who were nice the whole year round. He lives In the North Pole and has a sledge with reindeers becoming the muscle behind the contraption. Santa Claus keeps a list of those who were naughty and nice, climbing down chimneys to put presents under the Christmas Trees or maybe even In stockings that were hung on the fireplace. Every year he does this during the night of Christmas Eve. Children will praise Santa for his generosity even though they've never seen a sight of him before. Traditionally, Santa Claus Is recognized as the source of presents to young children. But does Santa Claus really give upon his own free will, or Is It the other way round?

Santa's North Pole
Why Is that Santa Claus resides at the Northern Poles of the earth. Why not America? Brazil? perhaps Mexico even, where sunshine Is about everywhere. Why the North Pole? It's like such a remote place, Isolated from everything else beside Ice, snow, polar bears, Eskimos, you get the idea. Wait do Eskimos even live In the North/South Pole? I wonder. Perhaps Greenland, yeah there. But anyways, Is It that Santa Claus lures children to this region of coldness for his own purposes? Think about It. He has a "workshop" which produces "toys" In the North Pole. i believe Santa keeps the children In giant skin sacks, acting like he's putting toys Inside when actually he's stuffing 3 year olds' Into his bag of pedophilia. Since his home Is so far away from civilization there would be no way anyone would know about Santa's kidnappings of all children to be his "slaves" for his guilty pleasure. Such a dirty tactic, no wonder you're bloated.

Santa's List
Next, why do you think he keeps a certain "list" of children who are naughty or nice? Is It his list on who to target next? I bet he checks this "list" everyday and observes the so called "nice" kids. Do the nice kids satisfy him In some way? If you know what I mean. Just one kid wouldn't be enough so you had to get groups of hundreds of kids to calm you down? Why do you think so many people have AIDS, HIV and STD's each year. It's because of Santa! The man Is twisted and sick In unthinkable ways.

Santa's arrival
Why does Santa only arrive at night? Why not In the broad daylight when everyone can see you? Why coming down through the chimney? Why not just use the front door? Landing your sleigh on the roofs of residential houses Is already considered a violation of privacy. Sneaking In? Now that's just low, real low. In exchange for the gifts Santa touches the children while they're sound asleep. So that's probably why kids who stay up through the night do not get presents as Santa doesn't get a chance to touch them because they're not sleeping thus causing him to not touch them cause If he does touch them while they're awake, he will be Identified as a pedo.

Santa's Activities With Kids
Why do you think every year, fake pretend Santa's sit In a chair and let every kid "ride" on his lap and tell him their wishes? Why do you think he does this. It's to show he's attraction to children of course. Why can't the children just stand and whisper their wishes to Santa. But they have to sit on his lap, for a least five minutes just to let him know about It. It may seem that the fake pretend Santa's are just normal people, but the truth Is, whenever the red suit, the long beard, the stuffed stomach Is put together, the Spirit of Mr. Claus controls them, just to feel pleasure over prepubescent youths.

So please, now that you know the truth behind this sadistic old man, consider whether you should convince little children whether the existence of Santa Is real or not. You'll never know.

That's why Santa gets the "Pedo Bear Seal Of Approval".

(MEXPO Is actually the Mexican Peanut Organization. Don't listen to the crap that Daryl has said)

101: Retards

2007-09-08T17:30:00.000+08:00

101, your guide to almost everything. Today's will be on Retard 101. This guide will teach you the basics, the techniques and the pure sense of retardism for you to be able to embrace. Scenarios will also be Included In the guide, to teach you, yes you the reader on what to do when you face these real life situations which you need to face. Well then, with that aside, let us begin!

The Basics.
Introductory
To be a retard, you must act like one. In order to do that, self confidence and self esteem must be present. The feeling of fear and worry must vanquish as these acts of retardism needs a lot of courage to perform. Before any act of retardsim is carried out, one must be sure that his/her act will be considered retarded. If he/she Is not sure, the plan will backfire, causing he/she's act to be normal. Now, what you want Is to be calm, pressure free and most Importantly relaxed. Every move Is like a stage play, If one thing goes wrong, the whole play will be screwed like a bag of broken peanuts.

The Look Of A Retard

The common retard.

Notice that the hair Is properly maintained. Now what you want for your hair Is a clean cut. Hair care products may be used but water will just do fine. No spikes, no emo, no long hair. A moderately short length Is recommended as things might get messy If you have long hair. Your Ideal pose would be to support your chin using your fingers. Eyebrows at just the right height and lips locked, without showing any emotion whatsoever. Your look must be plain. Show that you have no Intentions of doing anything. If you have any queries about the looks, just follow the hair above and the facial expression and I'll guarantee It will work.

Steps Of Acts.
These steps will help to construct your moves systematically. Every move must be orchestrated properly so that everything moves In order. Each step Is like a lion hunting Its prey. Pounce too fast, It will run away. Pounce too slow, It will also run away. pounce at the right moment, and you'll be having a feast.

Step 1- Wait for your victim.
Step 2- Pretend your doing something which Is nothing abnormal.
Step 3- Focus on the victim.
Step 4- Wait for the perfect chance.
Step 5- When the time comes, get ready to attack.
Step 6- Attack with all your might.
Step 7- Feel the sensation of accomplishment.

But these steps are only Implied when being retarded among people. Steps for just being retarded are as follows.

Step 1- Decide on what you are doing.
Step 2- Just do It.
Step 3- Feel the sensation of accomplishment.

Short and simple.

Scenarios
Now, these happenings may occur anytime, anywhere. These scenarios will explain the right way to handle the situation like a retard. These scenarios will teach you what's right and what's not to do when you face the It.

#1. You are sitting at the side of your classroom. There are curtains located just beside you.
Strong winds blow, causing the curtains to elevate and rise over your head. What do you do?

Right
Go under the curtains and smell It. Pretend that the curtains are skirt/dresses and
what you are smelling Is his/her undergarments. Continue doing this till there Is no more breeze and the curtains stop flying.

Wrong
Take the curtains and tie It so that It will not go wild.

#2. You woke late for school. You are In a rush. You are exactly 15 minutes from being punished for being late. To make things worse, you have not prepared anything for your oral presentation later and you are still In your pajamas and have yet to put on your uniform. What do you do?

Right
Purposely forget to wear anything and go to school naked. Bring everything except clothes. Shoes and socks may be brought. Using this method, you save time from having to change and you can get everyone's attention during your presentation. What do you get? Ad ouble whammy of course. An A+ Is also guarenteed. Be careful though as nudity will cause some of your peers to touch you.

Wrong
You get up off your bed and quickly change to your school attire. Then you hurry go to school with your clothes on, hoping you're not late.

#3. You meet a girl you like. You ask her out. She says yes. It's a date for you and your crush. You bring her out for dinner. She likes you a lot. You share the same Interests and want to get together. After the dinner, you bring her back home. She's about to leave, what do you do?

Right
Call her to come to you. Hug her, and tell her that you think she's tasty. Express your delight In slicing and deep frying her parts and eating them with condiments such as tartar sauce or mayonnaise. If she slaps you or kicks your crotch, you have succeeded.

Wrong
Tell her that you had a great time. Hug her and hope that you will get a goodnight kiss.

#4. You are In your teachers house to be tutored. Your bladder Is urging you to go to the toilet. You ask where Is the toilet. Your teacher brings you there. When you are about to use the toilet, you notice a wet brassiere In the sink. You are fascinated. What do you do?

Right
Without any hesitation, go snatch the bra and touch It. The moist nature of the bra causes you to feel tingly. Slowly bring the bra close to your nose and sniff It. When the teacher asks what's taking you so long In the toilet, you just say you're just unclogging the toilet. When you go back home, call everyone you know about what you did and wait to receive your flaming In school.

Wrong
You continue using the toilet without even thinking of touching the bra. You leave It where It should be.

#5. It Is Art Class. You are assigned to draw a portrait of a famous historical figure. You are almost finished drawing but you have to pass It up In about 30 seconds. You have yet to draw the nose and the head. What do you do?

Right
In that 30 seconds, push out your courage as you will need It. Keep your cool and hold firmly to your pencil/pen. In a few strokes, substitute your nose and head with a couple of pen0rs. Once you're done, pass It up face down. When your teacher scolds and reports you for being horny, tell him/her that his/her mom Is gay.

Wrong
Improvise and draw a half decent nose and draw a hat to cover the figure's head.

Congratulations!
If you have followed the guide properly, you have just become a qualified retard! You have now become one of the outcasts of society! 101 wishes you the best of luck with your new profound knowledge In everyday life.

That concludes Retard 101. Come back In the future for another 101.

The PS3

2007-08-25T23:46:00.000+08:00

Today I got the taste of the PS3, Nadzir's PS3 that Is. Well, I could have tried It when I was In Perth but people usually hogged It when I Intended to play. Freaking kids. Anyways, I arrived at his house approximately 1330 hours. Okay, maybe later. The main point Is about the PS3, and let me tell you, what a machine It Is. It may be bulky In size, but the sleek design covers the size of the console. S$ 1600, the PS3 costs. Thats about RM 3,669. This Includes two games though. That's big bucks for some metal. Anyways, jerr got The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and NBA Street Homecourt.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

NBA Street Homecourt

I only got to try Homecourt since everyone was playing It and seemed hooked to It. So I didn't really bother to ask to try Oblivion eventhough It's a very good game. However, Homecourt doesn't lack flare either.

My Impressions On Homecourt.
The game's graphically amazing. The player models seem very much like their real life counter part. Every court Is much detailed. From the court surface, hoops, backboard, sidelines and the raw feel of the location. Basketball courts never looked this good. And the controls, very Intuitive. Just dribbling the ball with square feels that fun. And since this Is a street game, you can expect kick passes, pump fakes, alley-oops, off the heezays (or however you spell It), superhuman jumps, superhuman dunks, gamebreakers and just a whole lotta stuff that you'll only know when you try the freaking game. The core of the game, well Is most definitely the superhuman dunks. I mean, just see It for yourself.

My overall Impression for Homecourt, just sexy. If you happen to like basketball and have a PS3 and reading this post now or reading a review about this game eventhough It came moths ago and you finally found out about It, get It, LIKE NOW. And yeah, I would have written my Impressions on Oblivion but unfortunately I didn't try It. Sorry.

PS: There might be edits tomorrow, but not now cause It's getting late and I'm getting lazy.

E3 2007

2007-07-16T18:11:00.000+08:00

Ah yes, E3. This years E3 has been over like for a week now, but here I am, writing about It. For those of you who don't know what exactly Is this E3 thing, It Is a game convention where all the big developers, publishers and game companies show their well, games of course. What companies you may ask. The likes of Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo, Electronic Arts, Ubisoft, Rockstar and the hell of others will present their games and give demos' and stuff. Personally, I would prefer the PS3 compared to the Wii and the Xbox 360. I'm not a Sony fanboy though, I'll tell you that.

I will compile some games that I am anticipating for my hypothetical PS3. So here goes, In no particular order.

1. Burnout Paradise

Release date: January 2008, US
4th Quarter of 2007, Europe

The latest series is the Burnout franchise. The first for the next gen consoles. I've always looked forward to Burnout games. The last one I played was Burnout Revenge, which was fairly addictive but It got repetitive after I reached the Elite Rank, which was the highest. Burnout Dominator did succeeded Revenge but I was lazy to check It out. After getting a glimpse of the Burnout Paradise trailer, I was excited. No, not school girl seeing hot guy excited. But excited by seeing how I could play the game with the polished mechanics with the very impressive graphics. Just Imagine, making your car spin a 360 spin in mid air or making It do barrel rolls after a jump or drifting you car in a tight turn causing the car to burn rubber leaving It smoky.

I conclude, Awesome Gameplay + Sexy Cars + Good Graphics + Dynamic Car Physics = Success

2. Assassin's Creed

Release date: November 2007

Assassin's Creed. In this title, you play as an assassins, duh and you get to well, assassinate people. But what kind of people you will be assassinating? Historical figures of course. Assassin's Creed Is set during the Third Crusade, In which you play as Altair, the dude In the white overalls. There's three cities that are featured in the game, Jerusalem (Israel), Acre (Israel) and Damascus (Syria). As you may observe these cities are located at the Middle Eastern region, and as you know, Middle Eastern architecture Is beautiful. Why did I bring up the architecture?, well In this game the player gets to climb on any building, ledge, brick, wall or anything virtually visible on buildings and the city. The most sexy part of the game Is Altair's arsenal of weapons. Daggers, crossbows swords and also your own array of assassin weapons that you get when you become one. Assassin's Creed brings stealth to another level with Its social stealth when you blend In a crowd when you are required to kill someone In the populous cities filled with tons of people. Very anticipating this game.

3. Heavenly Sword

Release date: 4th September 2007 , US
20th September 2007 , Australia

As you can see from the screens, the main character guy Is a red haired lady. Critics often compare Heavenly Sword to God Of War as both of the titles show similarities. But oh no, the leading lady, Nariko Is certainly not a Kratos. The game focuses on Its gameplay, claiming that about 1000 enemies can be on screen without any frame rate issues. If that Is true, massacring over an army of enemies would be certainly mouth watering. Nariko wields the "Heavenly Sword" which has divine powers and sucks out the life of any enemy that It cuts. Like Assassin's Creed this game also provides some unique weapons at your disposal. The "Heavenly Sword" can be changed into three different forms and each has Its own attack and mostly importantly satisfaction when killing. The sword can be changed Into a chain form that the player can use to throw out enemies and also can be separated depending on the players decision. I also So If you have enjoyed God Of War or Ninja Gaiden or something like that of the same genre, combined cinematic, tight controls and a fresh fighting engine, this game Is certainly one to look out for.

4. Warhawk

Release date: 28th August 2007,Worldwide

Finally, an aerial combat game that blows every other game of Its kind. A remake of the original Warhawk for the Playstation 1, with Its new inclusion of land vehicles besides the planes. The whole flight, driving mechanics are done by using the SIXAXIS (PS3 Controller) Tilt left, turn left. Tilt right, turn right. You get the idea. This game Is one of the first games that fully uses the motion sensing technology that the SIXAXIS has to offer. Warhawk Is all about Multiplayer. Detahmatch, Team Deathmatch and Capture The Flag are some of the modes of It. Although Warhawk does not support a Single Player Campaign, the Multiplayer will most likely be the meat and core of the game. Just think, jetting through your Blackhawk type stealth plane 300 km/h destroying enemy planes on the way. Fight for ranks, bragging rights and pride through this Multiplayer Online Co-op Aeriel Combat game that Is, Warhawk.

The PS3, smexy indeed.

Philosophy: Woodworking

2007-06-29T17:05:00.000+08:00

一： Cutting wood
When cutting wood, always remember to cut It harmoniously. Let the good chi flow In your saw blade so that the cut Is smooth and neat. Rugged and rough edges will be the outcome of bad chi In your saw blade. To achieve good chi, direct your saw to the wood In a 90° manner. You must always remember to pull the saw faster than when you push the saw while cutting. This enables the good chi to flow In a proportional ratio.

二 : Waiting for the tools

Waiting for the tools that you need need patience. It Is as If waiting in line to go to the
toilet. Your chance will come but you must wait. Patience Is of the essence. It will pay off
after you have waited, and you will feel satisfied with your tools like when you go through
the process of urination after you felt that your pipe Is about to go kablooey. Satisfaction
Is guaranteed.

三： Making sounds while doing the work

Doing the action above Is highly discouraged. A disturbance to the spirit world will occur
If the wrong sounds are made. Talking to the wood will rip your shirt. Shouting at the wood
will rip your pants off. Cursing the wood will rip your underwear off, thus forcing you to sit
on the plastic chair with your bare rear end.

Remember my philosophy about woodworking. Now I will conclude this session by quoting someone, about stupidity.

" Can you wear your underwear on your chests? " Hii Shan Wei Ransley

People these days, (Kenaidy) can't think of their own posts, and thus copying others. I am very disappointed In you people. (Kenaidy)

Zomgness?

2007-06-25T17:05:00.000+08:00

Hiatus? Stop posting? Inactivity? Dead blog? Those might be the things that come to your mind whenever you visit this blog. No, the blogs not any of the things above, besides inactivity. The thing Is that............. I was banned from the internet the past few weeks, okay maybe not. The main reason I don't post Is that my sister Is back. You know, my so called 'dead' sis In my April Fool's post. Yeah. The thing Is, my computer Is located In my sister's room, and also she puts her laptop in her room. She practically lives In the room, staying In here almost the whole day, and sleeping a lot. I have a fear that If I blog here, she will find out about my blog. I don't think she'll find the infamous April Fool's one humorous at all. If she does finds out, well, I can say that I am as good as massacre.

I will post as soon as she goes back to Melbourne which Is like two weeks from now. Then, you people can enjoy my sexy posts. And If you're wondering why I am able to blog now. Reason? She went out. So patient people. You don't get quality posts just at a snap of a finger, unless you're name Is Earl...........or crabman, yeah. Well that concludes this times mediocrity.

ZOMG! IT'S OVER ALREADY? OH YES!

Hooters

2007-05-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

Wow, Its been like three weeks since the last postness. Where have I been you may ask? Absolutely no where. Why have I not posted for so long? Go and ask Kenny. Okay, well there's no particular reason why I didn't post actually. Just that I had exams for two weeks and my Internet couldn't connect till this morning, so yeah, no postage. Don't panic, you people that enjoy my blog, I have not stop writing. Now I present you people with todays mediocre post, by me.

The holidays are around now. Same things go over and over. Wake up, eat breakfast, watch t.v, use the computer, eat lunch, watch t.v, use the computer, eat dinner, watch some more t.v and use more of the computer and then sleep. And the process goes on and on till school reopens and I find out I have not done the work that Is needed to be passed up the next day. Occasionally I'll go out with friends or something, but It doesn't make the holidays more Interesting. There's no pizzazz, no flare, no zest, no edge.

But finally, I got something to ease my boredom. Meet my Sony Cyber-shot DSC-T100, noir In color.

But of course the pic above Isn't my actual camera. Think I'm lying that I have the camera? Look below.

16:9 aspect ratio-ness. It may look a little dark, cause It Is dark In the room. The designs sleek, slim and Is full of style. Image quality Is good, 8.1 Megapxiels with 5x optical zoom. Eventhough Its just a point and shoot type of camera, It will definitely satisfy. Finally I will give you people a glimpse of my new haircut.

NOW ITS OVER!

Told you It was mediocre.

Huzzah! 14 Is I!

2007-05-06T18:15:00.000+08:00

3rd of May, me birthday. Sure Its like three days after but I don't seem to care now do I?. Alas, another year older, feels relatively the same, nothing much different though. The only thing that happened Is that I grew a few millimetres taller and I got unbeautiful. I miss my beautiful days. But oh well. Yes, as clich'ed as It sounds, time does fly fast. Maybe Its because I'm on the computer all the time. I should really get out more often.

Thursday was okay, apart from the creepiness. I didn't really want to make a big deal about my birthday, but for some reason, during Geography, either Kenaidy or Gurjit, I don't know who, remembered that It was me b-day. Then the boys were like, " HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAU!". It was okay at first, a few greetings, but It got creepy when Darren said It as If he wanted to give me some butts3cks or something. First the pants grabbing during football and now this? Give yourself some dignity man. Darren continued doing that (HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAU!) at least for four or five times. Fortunately, there was no butts3cks.

And for some reason, Kenaidy got obsessed with corn. Quote, "Corn Is not an option". When I asked where Is the corn, he kept silence. So, when you say something utterly brainless, remember, prepare a response. If you don't, you are as literate as Kenaidy, which Is In fact, Illiterate. Besides that I also found out that I share the same birth date with Ee Xin's mom. Very surprising I have to say.

But the creepiest and unpleasant moment was during KH. We were learning about decorative plants and the soil, fertilizer and stuff. The teacher went on talking about the fertilizer, and boy oh boy, chicken 'waste' was the subject. He went on, saying that Its warm, yes warm, and encouraged us to touch It. I for one am not In fond of doing so. Luckily the person that almost puked didn't puke.

Now, keeping the thought of fertility aside, my birthday. Nothing really special. Had lunch, got money, had cake and noodles at night. And money, 300 buckeroonies. But I'm not gonna finish the post just like that, I'll post some pictures for you, the reader to enjoy.

Tiramisu, brings a very eloquent taste as It contains coffee, cheese, cocoa/chocolate and a lots of sugary goodness. Definitely will satisfy your sweet tooth Quite creamy and sweet, very savoury. If you're wondering what are those two green things on the cake, well, those are apples. Doesn't look like apples, but they are.

Sweet sweet money. I got RM 100 from my grandmother and Rm 200 from my parents. They could have just gave In hundreds but I guess they had a lot of 50's. Wonder what I'll do with It. Invest It? Save It? Spend It?

NOW IT'S OVER!

Bored?

2007-04-28T16:11:00.000+08:00

If you are, I've got two sits that will occupy you for at least an hour or so, or maybe even longer.(not guaranteed). What sites you may ask? Just continue reading and you'll find out.

#1: 8Legged Entertainment
Its about an octopus chef named Tako, trust me Its not as lame as It seems. Tako hosts his cooking shoe called Deep Fried Live. The site contains about 8 episodes of DFL. Each lasts around a few minutes. All of them are pretty entertaining to watch.

But most of all, Tako cooks real dishes, not some fake generic crap. Real food, and through out the show, he gives tips and recipes that you can do at home. Apart from that the utensils and ingredients that Tako Is using are damn real. You can even buy It online, linked In the show. Theres also the Food Science Lab, which has a lot of Information about food. If you want to know more about the site, click on the link above.

Here are some screens from the site.

homepage

DFL page

So, If you just have nothing better to do, visit the site, It might be a few years old, but Its a still a fun, entertaining site. You might learn a thing or two about cooking, literally. In conclusion flash cartoons about cooking = teh awesomeness

#2 : Homestarrunner
Also an entertaining site, It brings random to another level. Theres a lot of content here, so you'll be browsing through the site for hours. There's tons of toons and games, plus the Interactivity of the site makes It so browse-able. The toons are just random but amusing. Homestarrunner provides a whopper of toons, but my favourites are Strong Bad email and Teen Girl Squad.

Strong Bad Email
One of the main characters of the site, Strong Bad replies his fan emails. Strong Bad discusses a wide array of topics from his emails, some are dumb and some are sensible. Cleverly animated and fun to watch.

Teen Girl Squad
Created by Strong Bad, freakishly random, uses sadistic humour, very funny. Although Its animated using stick men, It suits the comic style that Strong Bad Intended. It contains about 12 issues In counting. Definitely check this out. I really recommend It.

Two sites for you to browse during boredom. I'll add some more sits to the list when I find a good site.

Theorical thinking

2007-04-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

Yes, Sanjaya Malakar has been eliminated from American Idol. I'm not really a big fan of the show, but I usually watch the results show just to see who got eliminated. Yesterday, Mr Malakar had to pack his bags home after he got the least nationwide votes. However, I refuse to believe that It was because of the votes. I believe It has to do with other things......other things.

Time to crack the conspiracy

Theory 1: Sanjaya eats babies, your babies.
I believe that the mass consumption of babies Sanjaya had caused his udder elimination. Many mothers, school teachers, principals and even homeless people had complained about their missing infants during Sanjaya's time In American Idol. I knew he had a dirty secret , just look at him.

......the lust for babies can be seen In his facial expression.

Therefore,
Sanjaya × the number babies he ate ÷ his head × the ratio of 1:1 - Kenny's fatness + Syafiq's chin weight - (-）proportion of Ransley's hair ≈ the elimination of Sanjaya Malakar

Theory 2: Sanjaya having an affair with Ryan Seacrest.
This theory goes way back during the auditions. I first saw Ryan's craving for Sanjaya when he fondled his pants while Sanjaya's sister was still there. This was the first sign of homosexuality between Ryan and Sanjaya.

Seacrest, admitting he's gay and likes wet socks on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 with Anderson Cooper.

Sanjaya refused to give custody of their child to Seacrest, thus causing him to throw wet socks at him before Sanjaya's performance, making Sanjaya sing like a Ransley, slimming his chances of progression. After the incident, Seacrest went on to start a new life with his new boyfriend, Anderson Cooper.

Theory 3: Transgenderity
Many have questioned wether Sanjaya Is a man or a woman. I think he's a transgender. Born girl but Insists that he Is In fact a guy. This arguement about his sexuality can be explained by the many hair styles he had In AI.

Man

Woman

Woman

Undecided

Man

As you can see, the American people didn't like Sanjaya's weird hair do's and got sick of guessing about his gender. The dislike and anger lead to a nude strike by the Transgendered And Homosexual Association (TAHA). TAHA sued Fox and AI for discriminating the transgendered and homosexual. Sanjaya had to leave AI, otherwise AI would have to stop airing.

So there you go, three theories about Sanjaya's elimination

(95% of the theories are based on crap, 5% is factual, and yes, I am aware that the post if crap but It's not my fault If you read It until here just to find that Its crap)

Weird dream much.

2007-04-10T17:24:00.000+08:00

Well then, as the title speaks, I had a very strange dream on Sunday, 8th of April. The dream was really just weird. It had nothing to do with anything. It was that random. I've Illustrated a picture below to help give a rough Idea how was It like. So damn weird......

I saw myself In a classroom. The red blob was where I was sitting. Syafiq (darker blue blob) was sitting beside me. Raynner (lighter blue blob) was In front of me. Timothy Jones and Ting (green and pink blob) was at the back of me. Andrea (purple blob) was on my southeast.

For some reason, Raynner was pissy and dissed me whenever I tried talk to him. I looked at the t.v and I saw Syafiq playing Super Mario Bros with some other people, I couldn't remember who, but there were a few people besides Syafiq playing. I turned back, saw Ting, and strangely she was very close to Timothy as If they were Inseparable while hugging each other.

Then Andrea called me. So I turned to her. We started talking about my blog. She said I wasn't using good vocabulary In my posts. So we talked even more but I wasn't really paying attention to her. I turned, seeing Syafiq banging the controller of some console cause he couldn't pass the level In Super Mario Bros. And all of a sudden, the game crashed, building Syafiq's rage even more. Surprisingly, Ting and Timothy were still hugging each other. Raynner was still pissy at me.

Before anything else could happen, I woke up. Realising the weirdness I have faced. So yeah, my dream was very weird especially about Timothy and Ting. Not gonna happen, Timmy.

300

2007-04-05T15:51:00.000+08:00

Well, the craze of 300 had just started In my class this week, even though It was like out a few weeks back. I watched It only last week okay. Anyways, my brain Is just full of 300-ness and I can't really get It out. I even tried to be one of the spartans, using Daryl's rolled up sheets of paper as spears. That Is how much 300-ness Is In my brain.

Basically, 300 Is based on the graphic novel, 300 If you haven't already known. The movie revolves around King Leonidas, the Spartan King guy (pictured above) and his army In the path of fighting the Persians. 300 brings a lot of historical figures like King Xerxes (the Persian King) , deformed Spartan wannabe guy, Queen Gorgo (Leonida's wife), the Oracle and a lot others even though Its a fictional account of the Battle Of Thermopylae, according to Wikipedia. Strangely enough, the deformed Spartan wannabe guy Is In fact real.

I was surprised that 300 wasn't as violent as I thought It would be. Sure, I got to see the Persians get speared, a Persian guy on a horse getting his arm cut off which fell to the ground, but I expected more blood, gore and even more tearing of limbs, crushing of bones and organs and just more blood spewing everywhere would make the movie even better. Apart from the violence, 300 also contains partial nudity. Don't get me wrong though, I wasn't very excited about the scenes either but Its In the movie so whatever. Its not my fault the producers wanted to add In nudity.

Now off to the real deal. The battle was cool. It was amazing to see how the 300 Spartans fought the million over Persians. The battle against the Immortals was even cooler, especially when Lenonidas chopped the uber Immortal's head off. It would occur that the Spartans would win It, but I would be lying If I said they did. They almost won, massacring most of the Persian soldiers and the Immortals, but they perished after the girly mann, King Xerxe's archers surrounded them and shot them dead. What kind freak of a king looks like a woman? Terrible casting for the Persian King, appearance wise I have to say.

Xerxes did give Leonidas an offer though. Surrender and he may keep his title as King Of Sparta and the Greek warlord guy.He declined, throwing his spear cutting Xerxe's cheek. Hence, Xerxes ordered his archers to fire, killing the 300 Spartans, Leonidas dying last. The narrator guy ends the movie saying the Persians would face an even harder battle. It was hard enough to fight 300, what would they do when they now face 10,000 Spartans and 30,000 Greeks?

Overall 300 Is solid film. I enjoyed It. I would definitely recommend the movie to action movie enthusiasts. I can't really tell every detail of the movie, but I'm just giving the main scenes. Watch It for yourself, Its cooler than pie. For you action movie enthusiasts, don't worry, theres plenty of action to keep you at the edge of your seat.

FOR SPARTAAA!

Oh no

2007-04-01T14:31:00.000+08:00

This cannot be happening. This seriously cannot be happening. She's dead. She's not alive anymore. Damn. I cannot believe I can't see her anymore. This is so tragic. Even though we were very different from each other, we'd still kept a close connection. I regret all the times I pissed her off and took her things without permission. I never appreciated the times we spent together. I wish I could just see her one last time.

I heard the news just this morning, 9:00 am approximately. It was noon where she was. Her room mate called my mom immediately after the accident. The person involved, my sister. This was never thought of happening. ever.

My sister and her room mate, Jessie were walking to the Victorian Market to buy some groceries, since It was just a few blocks away from her hostel. Hell broke loose after a pick up truck skidded and crashed Into the people near by In Kings Street. Jessie was lucky enough to get out from there with a few bruises and cuts. My sister, however didn't make It.

My moms still crying outside. My dads having silence now. I'm blogging as you can see. Me and my sister weren't the best of friends. We fought over stuff a lot. We also argued a lot. Oh the times. But at the end of the day, she's my sister, so I accepted the fact that she Is how she Is. I'm writing this entry with blue, her favourite color.

Hope that you're doing well, jie

(on the right, pay no attention to the person on the left)

For the record, my sister is not dead. Yes, this entry may not be very respectful or nice, but Its initially just for April Fools. Hate me If you want, but just remember Its just a joke.

APRIL FOOLS

Ah Benginess

2007-03-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

Ah Beng [noun]
An unsophisticated and uneducated Chinese man who speaks broken english. Stereotypically, he mixes hokkien to his sentencces and likes neon-coloured clothes, spiky, moussed, and dyed hair and also accessories such as handphones or pagers, all of which are conspicuously displayed. He also likes to squat, even when a seat is available.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so today hor..... skool was very ki siao wan. tis Ransley hiaw hiaw de. eveli time ah, his very tat 1 u kno. i reli hate it. 1st time i see him, oledi kno he very miang liao. he tink his so kool ply basketbol but his lao ya de. his hav to say f*** eveli day de. i veli sian ah. and eveli day u kno, hav to tach peepls punya batt wan. SO HIAW WAN!!!!! reli feel lik slap him. stupit like wat. mabe his memang liddat stupit stupit wan . he say 'sia mien, da da' so mani time today liao. CHAI KA DE!!!!! SOOOO SIANNN OF TISSS BOYY AHHHH!!!!!!

and then ah, tis kenaidy ah, tink he kool b;cum cowboi take he tie go wip peeple wit it. it like gila babi wan. wip peeple oso dun say sori wan. so no manner de. so ke si meh? look so sa wan. look lik retart. so bodoh de tis boy. JIAK SAI LA LU!!!! walao! i jus relise tat i hav hair on my hand. i din kno tat till now wor. wat else ah, oh yea hor, tis kenny act gay gay de 2day. ai si lo, his go tach boy wan body and leg. an thn ah, he go panch peeples wan batt. kick he sia mien then his kno. chien ta wan.

haih, so many werk 2day. i try finish werk but i kan feenish. eveli day hav 2 draw draw thing. i veli sian liao hav to drawing picture. got use meh?? stupit de. i stat now hating skul. it veli stupit and wase my time nia. i wan ply sms oso canot. cane go on9. haih so sian ah. eveli day hav to do work. and al tis teicher lao beh de. teech oso dunno how 2 teech. how i knowing wat is 2x2. say 4 bat canot show hw it b;cum 4. so goondu.

last wan, sum peeple call me ah beng. you peeple jangan main main wit me. i tell u peeple hor i not ah beng. . I NOT AH BENG!!!! I NOT AH BENG!!!! EVELI1 WHO CAL ME AH BENG AH, FORK U!!!!!! TEL U LIAO I NOT AH BENG LO STILL CAL ME AH BENG!!!!!!! KI SIAO!!!!!! I GET VELI GUD MARK U KNO!!!! I BET AL MY FREN IN TEST!!!!! AL THE TECHER CAL ME SPECEL!!!!! I NOT AH BENG!!!!!!!! I NOT AH BENGG!!!!!!!!! I NOTTT AHHHH BENGGG!!!!!!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

note: I 'm not an Ah Beng in real life.

Purple

2007-03-24T16:18:00.000+08:00

I was bored. So I made this picture using Photoshop. So yeah, purple.

Wanted (ii)

2007-03-22T15:45:00.000+08:00

Name : Kenaidy Adan a.k.a The Gay Retard

Age : 14

Known Crimes : Ruining the flow, acting 'ucak', having incestuous affairs with his many uncles, staring at girls' legs, violating Darren, acting like a retard, being gay with Ransley, molesting himself, touching Kenny, thinking he Is 'all that', snapping his fingers excessively , smelling Federick, seducing toilet bowls, playing with himself, preparing Christmas Dinner, getting turned on by fat people, pretending to be blind and many many many others.

Known Hideouts: His bathroom, waste paper baskets, Tupperware containers, laundry baskets, drawers, bird cages, aquariums, plastic bags, inside his undies, sidewalks, in the middle of the highway, refrigerators and many many many others.

Weak To: Chapati, pencil cases, Indian boys, toilet paper, Hii Shan Wei Ransley, 7 year old girls, fried chicken, naked people, babies, Gunz, Syafiq's chin, Cikgu Najibah, homosexuality, emo people and many many many others.

Danger Level : Very high

Wanted Dead And Alive

Reward For His Capture: 3 cookies.

Might smell you If he sees you. If spotted do not approach.

This has been a message from laubenyu.blogspot.com.

Heartbroken'd ( an attempt to write an emo blog entry)

2007-03-18T17:01:00.000+08:00

For the record, I am not, I repeat, not emo. I'm seeing If I can write an emo blog entry. Why? Since a lot of people are writing this type of entries, I might as well try writing It too. Everything In the following post Is entirely fictional. So don't go " Eww......why Is he so emo" after reading It because I'm not emo and the post Is fictional.
Okay, so here goes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cant believe you don't love me anymore. How could you dump me for that lowlife. I thought It was love at first sight. You were the only one who could make my heart beat faster and slower, since the first time I looked at you. And you said " we're over " . The pain that I felt was unbearable. It felt as If arrows were shooting through my heart. I was truly hurt. Our relationship was over. Day and night I thought about you. I'd never thought It would end up like this.

I still become nervous when ever I look at you. I tried to forget you, but a small part of me still wants you to be on my side. Why am I still on this earth, my life means nothing without you. Your smile cheered me up when I felt sad. Now, you'll never be there with me when I need her the most. I know nothing can be done to get you back. I wish someone would kill me to end my misery. I am not worthy of your love, and I'll never be. My heart will always be on you, whether you like It or not.

I can't stand to see you with someone else. I'll never forget the times we had together. I guess I have to start all over again. I wish we could hug and kiss In the rain like In the movies. That'll never happen. I feel a lot of pain and sorrow without you. I feel like slitting myself. I know that won't help but It reminds me of you. I hope you'll still talk to me when we have the chance. You'll always be In my heart, forever, gingerbread man. heartbroken'd

missingyousodamnmuch

HAHA! YOU EMO PEOPLE GOT PARODIED!

Blogging

2007-03-14T17:18:00.000+08:00

A few people have asked me, why my blog exists. People have said Its weird, lame, full of crap and most of all, gay. I'd like to tell you about my blog, and blogging styles that I have read. My blog wasn't planned to be. I just made It for fun, seeing that blogging Is all the buzz now. Also, I wanted to find something to kill time when I'm bored.

Blogs
Out of all the different types of I blogs that I have read, I seriously don't get emo blogs, I have nothing against them, Its just, personally for me, when I read their entries, I tend to feel like they're not appreciating life as they should. They seem to be always depressed and they feel like dying or they shouldn't exist, showing pictures of their slit wrists, overly long hair and showing how much they hate their lives. I mean Its not like they got AIDS or SARS or Bird Flu or something like that. I'd understand If they really have It but If not, theres really no point of doing so. Be thankful you're still alive, freakin emo people.

Next, the journal type of blog. Normally, the content would be about the blogger's daily activities and happenings. It sounds like a good concept, but personally, I wouldn't write It cause mainly my daily activities are using the computer and watching t.v. You wouldn't want to read those two things now would you. I wonder how those blogger's maintain their blog. Are they're lives really that exciting? Meh who knows.

Last type of blog, the blogs that's all about love. Point? Expressing their feelings, their Inner thoughts and acting like theres no tomorrow without love. For me, after I read those kind of blogs, I really don't care about anything that Is connected to their love life. These bloggers mainly use phrases like ' Ever since you left me, my world Is just a black empty hole' or ' Why am I still on this earth, there Is no point of living without you' or ' My heart shattered when you said, we're through. I'm still picking up the pieces of my broken heart, crying, wishing you could come back to my side' and the list goes on. Sometimes I really get sick of It.

My Blog
To clear things out, my blog Is just full of randomness. Imagine my blog without Its signature randomness, what would I be writing about? My feelings? My Inner most thoughts? My life story?I don't think so. Crappiness and randomness Is a key element to my blog. Without It, I am nothing. Also without It, my blog wouldn't be as entertaining.

Purpose of my blog? I'm giving opportunities to other people to Indulge the weirdness that Is my blog. I'd like to think of this blog as a place where people can go when they're bored and when they have nothing to do. I don't update this blog daily, but I will update It when I have time. So yeah, enjoy the blog whether your a fat guy, a whore or maybe even a hobo. It may not be as good as kennysia's or the many other blogger's, Its still cooler than pie. With that said, I'm out.

Dummies

2007-03-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

For only RM 19.99, you can be the owner of this limited Ransley edition of Pronunciation For Dummies. This book covers every aspect of pronunciation ranging from tone, tongue position, lip moving and so much more. This book also boasts the inclusion of a CD-ROM, which Is a commentary about pronouncing, none other than Mr. Hii Shan Wei, Ransley, expert of pronunciation.

In this Book, you will get:
i. The do's and dont's of pronouncing words.
ii. An In depth analysis of Mr. Hii's vocabulary.
iii. Meanings for words that you just don't understand when a person with lousy English, speaks.
iv. Mr. Hii's synonyms and antonyms.

And so much more for just RM 19.99.

An Extracted Part From Pronunciation For Dummies.
guzit noun [read goo-zeet]
1. gurjit
2. tall, black guy
3. used In a sentence, ' Uh, guzit can I borrow 2 ringgit ? '
spoong noun [read ss-poo-ng](plural spoongs)
1. spoon, an utensil used for eating
2. used In a sentence, ' Wheres my spoong'
listten verb [read list-ten](listenning, listtened)
1. listen
2. hearing
3. used In a sentence, ' Listten to me, kennedy '
nufting noun [read nuff-thing]
1. nothing, nil, nada
2. used In a sentence, ' I dunniu nufting'
stuvit adjective [read stew-veet]
1. stupid, brainless, dumb
2. also known as shuvit [read shoe-veet]
3. used In a sentence, ' Apalah you, stuvit'
ass noun [read as]
1. ass, backside, rear end, buttock
2. a way of saying X-Men, ass men
3. a way of saying the Xbox 360, ass boss three sissy
4. used In a sentence, ' Is there a ass men game for ass boss three sissy? '
dugone noun [read dew-gone]
1. dungeon, a place In Maple Story
2. used In a sentence, ' Err, why I die In the dugone? '
terrorims noun [read terror-rims]
1. terrified rims
2. terrorism, involves terrorists
3. used In a sentence, ' How to read this? Is It terrorims? '

This Is just one part of the book, If you purchase this book you can see even more content just for RM 19,99. So what are you waiting for, don't miss you chance of a lifetime, get this book now while It lasts. Sold In major book stores around the country.

Don't delay, buy It now and you'll be pronouncing In no time!

LML : March 2007

2007-03-08T19:47:00.000+08:00

We have new candidates! I repeat! We have new candidates! After weeks of hard work, I finally scouted new candidates for the LML. I am happy to announce four new people will enter LML.

Candidates.
1.Marvin Fam.
2.Jeremy Chin.
3.Yuan Meng Yong.
4.Kenaidy's follower, Daniel.

These new candidates will be monitered from time to time to evaluate their development In their social skills to the girls. LML Is expanding quite rapidly. As of now we have 10. Yes, 10 competitors In the LML. If you have anyone In your class or In your school, or In your neighbourhood , please contact the following number.

016-8083290. Contact person may vary.

To celebrate the expansion of LML, each of our competitors will receive 10 points free, except for Darren........mainly because he's a whore. The new members also will receive the pints that they've earned during my scouting. Also happening this month, the 40 point barrier was broken by our leader, Nadzir as he earned 50 points for smooth talking and worked his charm over the girls.

Current Standings.
Rank 1- Mohd Nadzir 85 points
Rank 2- Daniel 40 points
Rank 3- Eric Ling 32 points
Rank 4- Jeremy Chin 28 points
Rank 5- Yuan Meng Yong 25 points
Rank 6- Basil Andy Lease 20 points
Rank 7- Marvin Fam 18 points
Rank 8- Cyrus Wong 15 points
Rank 9- Kenny Chong 13 points
Rank 10- Darren Diewo 0 points

As we can see, Nadzir Is still on top, with a record breaking 85 points. Daniel Is making a big Impact In the league, as he beat 2nd ranked, Eric, with 40 points. Darren Is still rock bottom, with absolutely nothing, as he failed to make any progress this month. The league Is still on, anything can happen during the course of the year. So be ready.

This has been a report of LML brought to you by laubenyu.blogspot.com

Sports Day : Day 2

2007-03-01T11:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the second day of my school's Sports Day. I didn't really have the time to write yesterday so I'm writing It today. It rained, but other than that, the same stuff happened, sitting, talking, eating and insulting. I got to go to the MCC near Imperial Mall after the morning session of the events were done. Ransley played like an ass. So after playing, I headed back to Parkson to go back home when I realised It had rained. Without any thought I ran from Ma Baker to the eating place near Giant. I was freakin soaked. Luckily for me, my cap provided enough protection for my head from the heavy rain. I went back to change and stuff.

The afternoon was pretty much the same as the morning. Sitting, talking, eating and insulting. Kenaidy was exceptionally gay and retarded during the afternoon. I found out that Ransley played Counter Strike like a dumbass as he just stand In one spot without moving anywhere to shoot. I also discovered new LML potential, Mr Yuan and Daniel, Kenaidy's follower. How could I not see such potential In the beginning? The teachers got to run too. The Danson teacher, Mrs/Ms/Mdm Victoria tripped during the race. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR REPLACING ME IN THE 4x200 EVENT YOU FREAK OF A TEACHER, eventhough I'd probably lose but still , THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR REPLACING ME!

Then the award ceremony thing took place. Lim was third. Danson was second and Chong got first again. Oh yes, and Ransley was very sakai playing his friend's handphone. A tribute was made to Li Vui Chian, I think, who passed away on the morning of the February the 25th. His loss was never thought to happen.

R.I.P Li

Sports Day: Day 1

2007-02-27T18:06:00.000+08:00

So today was the first day of my school's Sports Day. It was held at the Open Stadium or Outdoor Stadium or just the stadium opposite the Indoor one. The Opening Ceremony started at like 7 AM. I had to to the marching thingy majiggy for Danson ( my sport house). After the Opening Ceremony and stuff, the events took place. I was suppose to run 4x200 but nooo.......the teacher had to replace me. Not only me, but Onn and Nadzir were replaced too. Apparently we got replaced cause the teacher couldn't find us. And I was just sitting a few rows at the back of the teacher. Gee, what an excellent reason for us not running. I mean, she (teacher) could have told me before I took my number. Freak. After the feeling of unworthiness, I went to sit....and sat till 11.30AM.

So after that me, Gurjit, Kenaidy and Syafiq walked to MCC (My Cyber Cafe) for a round of games. Sure, you may be thinking, " Kids theses days, go to cyber cafe's so often, don't they know they'll get exposed to bad people?" , but Its just a place to play online games. You go there, pay the amount how long you playing for, and go back. You won't exposed to smoking and drugs or whatever unless you want to. Guess what? When we got there, we couldn't play, you know why? Cause probably Mr Ong or Mr Tan ( discipline-ish teachers) went to the cyber cafe's and told the receptionists there to not let St Columba students play. Thanks a lot, you asses who went there so early and got caught making us can't play.

Soon after that, we walked to Parkson, ate McDonalds, I ate fries. there I got to meet the Sean dude, the Azrai guy and the Clinton person. Later I played In the arcade for a while. Then, I went back home to change and stuff. I came back to the stadium at 2 something. The whole time there, I was sitting, talking, eating and insulting. So basically, I did absolutely nothing related to sports. Might as well call Sport's Day, Play Day cause practically everyone was at other places having fun rather than being In the stadium doing sports.

Freakin Danson teacher.

My Maple Life

2007-02-24T17:36:00.000+08:00

Maple Story, a game I used to play. It brings back a lot of memories. I remember my first Kerning PQ (Party Quest). It sucked. The first time I earned 1M. The first time I joined a guild. The first time I obtained a throwing star. So very many memories.

I stared a warrior by the name of DarkRainer. It was the end of May,2006 when I started DarkRainer. I stopped playing mid December 2006 due it technical issues. My computer couldn't run Maple. I wanted to wait till my computer could run It, but time passed, and I have left Maple behind. DarkRainer waslvl 51 at the time I stopped. A proud Fighter he was. Rage was a skill many wanted, only Fighters had Rage.

DarkRainer had joined three guilds before. First, ShiNoBI. Second, Incomparable. Third and lastly, AngelFlameZ. What a great time during his presence In AngelFlameZ. A junior master he was. Many friends he had made. I'd like to thank the following who made my Maple experience a good time. dChaserX, xThundarax, Js43v3r, Divinate, jhoeiz, Valcain, ImSoSoreHaHa and many other Maplers are thanked.

Memories are never forgotten. Here are some of them.

Ah, lvl 29, a lvl behind the 2nd job advancement.

First time I got a Korean Fan from Zipangu

lvl 47, my highest damage at that time.

First time seeing a lvl 100 crossbow

Me with my guild leader, Js43v3r (on the left)

lvl 50, 2000+ damage.

Annoying habits while chatting (i)

2007-02-23T15:34:00.000+08:00

I don't know about you, but I really dislike some habits that the person I chat to, does. Do they do It on purpose? Who knows. These are some of them that Is just freakin annoying.

1.Over usage of 'lol'. I'm fine If you use It a couple of times In one conversation but If you use It just too much, then you my friend have a problem. For example:

Me : Yo

Guy : Yo
Me : So hows life?
Guy : Good, lol
Me : Anything Interesting happened today?
Guy : Yeah, lol. Today I bumped Into a hobo, lol
Me : Was the hobo dirty?
Guy : LOL! dirty. lolololololol
Me : Uh, okay
Guy : lol
Me : Kay then, I gotta go
Guy : lolz, laterz

Yes, I have experienced a chat like that before. Notice how guy uses 'lol' a lot event hough It was just a short conversation. This Is exactly what I'm talking about, over usage of 'lol'.

2. Talking In leet. If you don't know what leet Is, Its like a writing system online. Writing leet In leet would be like l337.

Guy : 1 |\/| 73}{ |>\|/N0n123.-. _|00 83 N199 |\/|3n2
Me : Sorry?
Guy : | a|\/| +3}{ 835+ A|\||) +3}{ 5|\/|aR+35+ |>3R50|\| 0|\| +3}{ 3aR+}{
Me : Huh?
Guy : _|00 4.-3 +3|-| 5+up|D35+ ||\| +3|-| \|/0.-|_D
Me : Aha
Guy : 5|-|u7 up _|oo |<|\|O\|/ |\|o7|-|1|\|' bou7 |_337
Me : Bye freak

That Is call a leet talker. What Is he trying to prove, I have no Idea. Sure, It does look cool, but Its rather hard to read.

3. Bad grammar and spelling. I don't expect the person I'm talking to have excellent English or anything, but there are times when their grammar and spelling of their words are absolutely wrong. For Instance:

Me : Are you going to school tomorrow?
Guy : Why Is you so wierd. Who liking to skool. Nothing will happen If I didn't come
tomorrow. Teacher won't skold.
Me : Are you sure?
Guy : Of course I sure. Why you didn't trust me Isit.
Me : You sound like you're lying.
Guy : You Is a sh!t . I hat you. You are suck and damn.
Me : Right.
Guy : I Is very mat at you now.
Me : Err...Okay.

The conversation above was an example of bad grammar and spelling. Notice how guy uses Is a lot. That Is one of the main grammar mistakes that they make while chatting.

That's all for this weeks annoying habits while chatting. I'll bring you the next Installment of this next Friday.

Back From Singapore

2007-02-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

I arrived at Miri at about 3:30 PM from Senai Airport In Johor Bahru. Yes, Senai. I almost thought It was Senile the first time I saw It. Woops, silly me. Anyways I had a pretty good time In Singapore. Singapore Is a well developed country. Way way way more developed than Malaysia. If I were to compare Miri and Singapore, Miri would be like a rural kampung compared to the big modern Singapore. Theres a hell lot of places that you can go such as Sentosa Island. Unfortunately I didn't have the chance to go there. I did, however go shopping. I only went to a couple of malls It was the Chinese New Year and a lot of shops didn't open.

The only malls that I went to were:
1. IMM , Jurong
2. Vivo City , Harbourfront
3. OG , Orchard Road
4. Centrepoint , Orchard Road

Basically If you want to go shopping In Singapore, just go to Orchard Road. There are a lot of different shopping malls there for you to shop.

Its fairly easy to get around In Singapore. The easiest way Is to use the MRT which Is like a monorail. Theres MRT stations everywhere there so there Is no need for worry If you want to go to a certain area. During my stay there, I also bought some stuff for CNY. I bought a Fila t-shirt, a pair of Nike's and a pair of And1's. All together, I spent about S$ 230.

Fila t-shirt- S$10
Nike's - S$ 150
And1's - S$ 70

I still got about S$ 100 that my aunt gave me. Maybe I'll convert It to Ringgit or something. Overall It was a pretty satisfying experience, mainly because I got to buy stuff. Singapore Is a nice place. The shopping, the nightlife, the cuisine and such. I'll probably go there again, so woo for me. I think thats all, Its 11:40 PM now and I'm lazy to think and type.

Adios.

Happy Days

2007-02-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

Woo school ended at 9.30 AM today and I got my history topical test results back. Surprisingly, I got 30 marks out of 30. In you face Daryl and Darren who got 29 and 27. Sure, theres a few more people that got 30 too, but hell, I BEAT YOUR ASS IN THE TOPICAL TEST DARYL AND DARREN! Poor Daryl, he couldn't stop saying 29 during the first few minutes of KH. But cheer up Daryl, at least you can be happy for my full marks.

Besides the full marks, I shalt be going to Singapore today to celebrate Chinese New Year. My flight will be at 4.00 P.M. So I have to go to the airport to check In at about 3-ish. As you all know my dad and sister, are in Melbourne. Some of relatives on my father's side of the family are in Kuching and some are In Sibu. However practically everyone on my mom's side of the family going to Singapore. Thats why I'm celebrating CNY there. I'll be staying with my auntie who lives In Jurong (somewhere In Singapore). I'm coming back on the 21st which Is on a Wednesday.

Wonder what I'm gonna do there. All I know Is that I'm gonna enjoy my time there. So here at laubenyu.blogspot.com we all like to wish you a happy prosperous(s/p) Chinese New Year. And remember, just like on Valentine's Day, don't act like a whore. Whoreism Is very bad for your skin.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T14:36:00.000+08:00

Ah yes, February 14th, Valentine's Day. A day where guys or girls give gifts to their "loved" ones to show how much they appreciate each other. But do they really mean It? Some people might say they do, and some might say they don't. I say pie is good and material goods are just crap. Do the girls really care about you after you give the stuff to them? Sure, maybe they'll say " Oh, how thoughtful" or " Oh, that's so sweet of you", then after that, no contact is made between the girl and the boy. What's my point you ask? I don't really know too, but what I'm trying to say Is that If the girl's main priority Is material goods, then hell, leave her. She's not worth your time and money.

So today In my school, they were giving out the gifts which were ordered from their respected clubs. Roses, candy and cards were among the gifts. Darren, felt very very unloved when he saw Ting Mei Jiun receiving about four to five gifts delivered personally to her. He tried to cover his unloving self by acting like an attention whore. Attempt by attempt he tried. All of It failed miserably as all the girls turned him down. I tried to tell him that me, Daryl and the other boys were also unloved, but he just couldn't accept the truth that no one loves him except for his family.

Anyways enjoy your Valentine's Day as It should be celebrated, even If you're fat, ugly, weird looking, weird acting, plain looking, low voiced, having a deformed face, talks like Ransley and such. Just remember, don't act like a whore.

Happy Valentines Day peoples.

Good Or Bad?

2007-02-12T04:45:00.000+08:00

So I woke up at like 5 am this morning. Sent my sister and dad to the airport. My sisters going to Melbourne to continue her studies. My dads going to help my sister with some stuff over at Melbourne. I had a choice either to wake up or sleep. I ended up waking up after my mom made me to.

Upon my sisters departure, there are some pros and cons

Pros
-Full access to the tv.
-No more crappy chinese cantonese dramas everytime I go to the living room.
-No criticism when I play O2Jam.
-Quiet and peaceful surroundings.
-No more unsuspecting hits to my back.
-I can write this blog without any insults.
-No more clothes shopping every time me and my family go out.
-No more disruption when I do my homework.

Cons
-No more faster than my computer laptop.
-Now I have wipe the tables, wash the dishes etc. Shes the one who normally does It when shes
In Miri.
-No more digital camera.
-No more 2GB pendrive.
-Cant piss her off anymore.
-Now I have to talk to my mom more often. She usually talks to her.
-Cant blame wrong doings to other people till she comes back.

Damn It, I want to use her laptop and her camera. But nooo I have to use my crappy 256RAM computer. Ah well I'll go protest about this computer to my mom.

Later.

LML

2007-02-10T15:38:00.000+08:00

For the past month or so, me and Daryl, have created a league of extraordinary actions that the boys in our class have done towards the girls. This league Is called LML short for the ' Ladies Man League' . To enter this league, one must have all five of the criteria below.

Qualifications Of LML.
i . One must be smooth when talking to the girls.
ii . One must have no problem socializing to the girls.
iii . One must not be scared of the girls.
iv . One must have the courage to take action to the girls If they make physical contact to them.
v . One must not be intimidated by the girls' looks no matter how pretty or how ugly they are.

Scoring.
1 point for every time a girl talks to them.
2 points for every time you hit them and they hit you back.
3 points for for a group conversation with four three to five girls.
4 points for every time they touch them.
5 points for every time they compliment them.

Deduction Of Points.
10 points will be deducted If any of the participants act gay and flirt to the any of the guys.
5 points will be deducted If any of the participants are discovered that they act like attention
whores to the girls.
1 point will be deducted anytime the participants talk to the commentators, which Is me and
Daryl.

Currently there are six participants In this league. Some of the participants have succeeded and some have failed. The standings of LML are as follows.

Rank 1- Mohd Nadzir 25 points
Rank 2- Eric Ling 22 points
Rank 3- Basil Andy Lease 10 points
Rank 4- Cyrus Wong 5 points
Rank 5- Kenny Chong 3 points
Rank 6- Darren Diewo 0 points

The league Is still going on. I will declare the winner of LML whenever me and Daryl want to. But for now, Nadzir Is on top with 25 points while Darren Is at rock bottom and has yet to gain anything.

This has been a report of LML brought to you by laubenyu.blogspot.com

Crapola

2007-02-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

I got back the results of my BM topical objective paper. I only got 23 out of 47 correct, and theres still the literature component that hasn't been checked yet. Damn It, I knew I'd get screwed In BM but not that fast. If I keep slacking like what I'm doing now, I might go to a lower class. Trust me , you do not want that to happen. I could either go for tuition or study. I choose studying. Well, I'm gonna go try and be better in BM.

adios.

Wanted

2007-02-07T12:12:00.000+08:00

Name : Daryl Ian Raja a.k.a The Anti Socializer

Age : 14

Known Crimes : Abusing muffins, being fat, harassing old men, stealing other people's trends,
loving his uncle just too much , saying the word ' balls ' excessively, liking the color purple, fondling teacups, acting gay, touching private areas of little school children, touching Abdul Rahman's moobs and many many many others.

Known Hideouts: His toilet, under the bridge, in the sewage, his uncle's house, the Sunflower
Center, the girls toilet, underwear shops, garbage cans, closets, on top of telephone poles, public toilets, cardboard boxes many many many others.

Weak To: Peanuts, peanut butter, peanut based products, 7-10 year old children, Alexander Goh, prawn crackers, rojak, paper, ugly girls, Ridge Racer, Nintendo 64s and many many many others.

Danger Level : High

Wanted Dead And Alive

Reward For His Capture: 2 cookies.

Might touch If he sees you. If spotted do not approach.

This has been a message from laubenyu.blogspot.com.

R.I.P Rianna

2007-02-06T07:34:00.000+08:00

Well, I don't even know this girl. I have absolutely no connection to her. I saw this girl in an article in ' The Sunday Post ' yesterday. The article was about her virtual memorial type of thing in her myspace. She passed away after crashing into a tree near her home on the 7th of December 2005. She was only 16 at that time. So I decided to check her page out. I was very surprised that I shed tears after viewing It. The music didn't help either. The comments on her page made It even more saddening. I kept thinking how she'll miss the stuff that a typical American teenager would normally do like going to her senior prom and such. Anyways this Is the link to her profile.

In memory of Rianna Woolsey.

I don't know about you,but I for one Is sad about her tragic death. R.I.P Rianna. 1989-2005.

Who the hell am I?

2007-02-05T05:24:00.000+08:00

Well, as you people can see,my name is on the header. I'm Chinese,duh and I'm from Miri, the place where there is fat people,peanuts and pie. I'm.......I study in.........well If you want my life details just ask Darren Diewo (careful, he has sensitivity issues) or anyone that knows him that knows me. I'm gonna do stuff now as I don't really like to write a lot. Oh and I like pie. Peace

P.S: The crap has yet to come.